Archive for December, 2009

Bright Night was very bright for BYOI!!!

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123109famBYOI was at Bright Night and on this cold and snowy winter night, we had a blast! Tonight was all about our audience member Sam!  She is a Facebook addict who works at the Hasbro Children’s Hospital doing good work!

We started the show off going Bananas and then right into our first game of Meanwhile.  We had two wonderful kids as volunteers.  From a fishing expedition we learned that we needed to be at the institute for violent children.  We learned that one of the seven dwarfs grew and the the ESPN top 10 starts with “young boy gets tackled.”

Then we moved onto the dating game where Beth had to guess about Popsicle obsessions, champagne bottles that are about to pop and the dude that looks like a lady.

In Chainsaw a mortician in a pharmacy with a chainsaw boomerang became a sponge bather, in a bar with a rabbit per way of a boxing kangaroo with child in pouch.

Finally, we finished up with a game of Typewriter where a little girl helped us tell a story about wizards, kittens and the digestive system of a rabbit.

Happy New Year and Scene!!!

12/18/09 Tonight is all about An Shaughnessy

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Good evening and welcome to the final show of the regular season.

Tonight we have the wonderful An Shaughnessy performing for intermission.

121809famWhat do we know about An Shaughnessy? Well let’s take a look… An is short for another name, likes ‘A Whole New World’, DMB, Tim plays guitar for her, Tim’s a stalker, works at a bar, makes hats, likes Trader Joe’s, likes their pre made foods, afraid of bears, eats bear shaped food for revenge, likes caramel popcorn ice cream, wishes she could turn things into grape jelly, likes Steele Magnolias and Darryl Hanna.

Yes and that’s how it’s done – “Oh Sh**, Yes I know this bi**h.”

Audience Warm-up – What’s the time? It’s time to get ill…

What are you doing? – stalking celery, walking a plank, screwing everything up, cashing checks.. with my butt, whack a mole with a shot gun, stalked by gummy bears, skiing down a mt. while pants on fire, only woman Tiger Woods rejected, only man Tiger Woods rejected, my schizophrenia just peaked.

ABC – Dominic the Donkey, people these days selling me donkey’s with removable tails, you know I don’t feel sexy, zoo’s cut this up and use it for feed, Quell your anger, Fine but I think you need to learn how to spell Igor, this isn’t Shawshank Redemption.

Good cop, bad cop – prank calling with the Patriots mascot in a galaxy far, far away – Steve I am proud of you, I once spelled out h e double hockey sticks in my soup but it was an accident, prince albert in a can, your friend Mike Hunt, Tom Brady does have a big head… must order his helmet special, is this scarf thingy what you call an ascot – baking brownies with Hugh Heffner at a horse race – Do you wear big hats, I show up with a wad and leave with not much, Me and the Heff go back, That’s my favorite horse.

ansmusicIntermission time and now we have An Shaughnessy… An Shaughnessy was our first musical guest and it’s only fitting that she is our last musical guest of the season. “Wait… How’s it go?”… all this blogger can say is WOW this woman’s voice is FANTASTIC!!!!! If you have never had the honor of hearing her perform… What the heck are you waiting for! You can check her out at http://www.ahtspot.com/Ahtists/Ahtists/AnShaughnessy

Post-it – John Rings beard forest & Frying pan, Egg fryer & candle, robot builder & brick layer, ascot & cigar roller, cat sitter & knife, zoologist & Mt. Everest, soap & spatula, game show host & Taco Bell, Rockefeller Center & Taxidermist, pepper spray & chuck

Say it again – do you want me to blow it for you, I’m a bearded lady come on, you’re just a man, how do you want your egg… Thursday, SHUT UP BILLY… OK, we gotta look good for the tornado y’all, I say shut up I’m a storm, and I was born in a hurricane, he’s a zombie ghost from the civil war come to eat our hearts out… SHUT UP BILLY

Meanwhile – directions – This year’s going to be different old man, cold in here… it’s so empty, turn the page, on the dark side of the moon…. Thursday, TGI Thursday just doesn’t work, is this a haberdashery?, it was sticky, I never killed a horse before, yes I am kidding you, this is Yess… NO, my teeth are in here somewhere, and I’m gonna need your car, This is Billy, your census is way off, Thursday.

Thank you all for checking out our final show of the Season…. We will be at Bright Night on New Years Eve.

AND SCENE!!!!

BYOI – 12/16/09 – Michelle our Bell

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121609famWednesday, Dec. 16th 2009 started with the good old R.E.S.P.E.C.T. from Daniel, moving swiftly through his letters. Our F.A.M. of the night, Michelle, was full of information that generated loads of laughs from the audience.  Beth warmed us up with a B.Y.O.I. version of the classic YMCA, “Everyone loves to play with…” “B Y O I!!!”.

After a quick transition into What are you Doing?, we all cracked up from the portrays of; making cough syrup from chocolate, decorating my house with pictures of my house, and I’m not giving two sh*ts! Gotta love that safe circle.

Surprisingly fast paced, the first round of the Alphabet game went almost flawlessly, Jimmy and Beth proved it could be completed from start to finish without a hitch. I want to express a person “You Kick Arse!” to Adam for his “Por favor, … Mayonnaise?”

Bad Jimmy stole the cookies from the cookie jar… with Rudolph… at a Carnival? Crazy kid! Not to be shown up from that awesome performance, Beth made tasty mud pies… with The Wiggles… in Costa Rica? I always wanted to travel, can I come next  time?

An Shaughnessy was our Featured Ahtist tonight with he guitar playing guru, Tim, and rocked the stage. and to even help with the theme of the night… Improv… they improved a song. Soft, smooth, and yet lyrically powerful is the only way to describe the performance.

Post-It was a new game for me to see, like a really fast paced “line-from-a-hat” game that produced tons of laughs. Horse – Mortician, Zoo – Spices, Lindsay Lohan’s Backyard – Black Box, Contact Lens – Strip Club, Stapler – In Bed. Those were some hilarious scenes indeed.

Meanwhile… it was a hilarious, fast paced, A.D.D. game that made no sense, and yet totally sane.

Say It Again! WOW!!! Douchebag Man?!? Interrupting Guy?!? Holy Cow man! Genius!!!!!

And Worlds Worst was hosted mostly by our newest F.A.M.’s, Michelle, white board.

Thank you Michelle, and thank you An Shaughnessy and Tim!

T-Bar

Friday 12/10/09 Tonight we have Marq Twain!

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GOOOOOOD Evening and Welcome to another BYOI

Tonight is going to be an awesome show. For intermission we have the musical stylings of Marq Twain! These guys are fan-freaking-tastic and a must see if you have never seen them perform before.

Tonight we have Daniel, Adam, Beth, Jimmy, and Jon

121109famTonight is all about Larry & Mark, and what do we need to know about them? High school together, Friends cause they live in RI, Matt is always late, Matt brought them together, allergic to cats, asked to date an ex, loves the new Wii Mario but only has one controller, loves euro soccer, likes bullfighting, shops at last minute to holiday shop, resolves to go to the gym more and resolves to not a resolution!

Yes, and that’s how it’s done! – The potato industry has been good to you so I think you should be good to it.

Hot seat – Milk milk lemonade round the corner fudge is made, you got pretty hair, are you sitting on my plunger, is this the stripper auditions, you’re sitting on my Tiny Town, is it true you can milk a man, I hear you’re allergic to cats.

Titles – SOS, Titanic, Who’s the Boss, Who let the dog’s out, I’m singing in the rain, it’s raining men, chocolate rain, hit me baby one more time, help, umbrella, punk d, simple life, simple plan, cheers, can’t buy me love, puff the magic dragon, it’s log, man on the moon, 101 Dalmatians, I know what you did last summer.

Shop keeper – Reindeer that only sings Frank Sinatra, Horseshoe that is a boomerang, Remote that changes life. I only sell grade A children in my shop, Can you make my Heidi Klume, How many manly men do you see on Hobby Horses? – Knees that sneeze, Black and white fireworks, Back hair that calls you names, All the colors of the rainbow, did I sell you Nickelodeon knees, worst part is your face.

marqtwainIntermission – MARQ TWAIN!!!! These guys are fantastic, and funny as all H**L… From Vegas and meeting ON the Mason Dixon Line to Never dating a girl from Bay View. I highly enjoyed their set and am sad that I missed their set on Wednesday. I still don’t get why they did a shot of Pepto but I was too busy laughing and having fun to figure it out. If you have never seen them before you really have to check them out. We WILL have to have them back SOON!

Freeze tag – socks in the underwear drawer, Matt’s late… he’s out of the band, never date a girl from Bay View, You have any tax free Cigarettes… HOW, sorry delayed reaction, no you can’t start a union, Your complaining I got an anaconda, I’m making meatloaf and you’re gonna eat it

Revolver – Captain and co-captain, Stopped at Granddads, Robin Hood Boy Wonder, Tooth Brush – Will it work on a dog, flying plane with total moron… call me, that baby just got it cause of you, I killed him with his disappointment in me, I’m really drunk right now. Cut the cord, under the stars, John Travolta – Staying Alive, 9 iron – You have to visualize and you can make the windmill every time, OH you’re a girl, This is the best first date ever, can you read it… it says d**ch*b*g.

Blank walks into a bar – Hat, Mario, Soccer Player, Gym Teacher

Bring Your Own Historical Writer – 12.09.09

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Lots of screaming and random noise coming from the back room…must be a good warm-up for Daniel, Ken, Dan, and Ben.  This is Ben’s last show before his short break to perform some Shakespeare.

And they enter to the theme of The Empire Strikes Back

Cam steps up as our newest member of the FAM – He is 19 but thinks he is 18.  Born in Boston in a hospital maybe.  Norton high-school.  Claims to be  a nerd.  Brett, the douchebag is one of Cam’s mediocre number of high school friends.  Fast forward to now, Cam has an on-again off-again relationship with film school.  Fan of Drama.  Jim Jarmoosh {Phoenetic spelling <– probably wrong spelling}.  JJ’s “Limits of Control is highly recommended by Cam.  Indie and Alt-Rock tickles Cam’s Music fancy.  Cam is afraid of death {Dan say’s that’s boring and Ben has a request for not stupid fears}.  Cam says snakes to make Ben feel better and we all think of Indiana Jones.  Hobbies include smoking and playing piano, maybe at the same time.  Playing piano, making it up on the spot, just the way we like it.

120909fam

That was our Featured Audience Member Cam – Welcome to the FAM, Cam!

Hot Seat opens up the gaming with Ben’s wonderful explanation.

  • ROUND 1
  • Waiting For Death too, or was that Two? Sounds like a good sequel
  • “Let’s get to it!” Ray D.
  • Ben sitting is the same height as Jason standing, oh dear
  • “I almost went to film school, so act” Ray
  • “You aren’t the genie I wanted”  Ben
  • ROUND 2
  • A much more physical round including throwing and punching
  • Cowardly Lion in a wheelchair
  • Rob Schneider stars in a lot of movies
  • Ray and Daniel will get married
  • Nerd Shots for all

Ken describes our next game, Titles, to the audience.  Watch out for Ken, he is ruthless with his “dinger”

  • Suggestion – ANCHOVIES
  • “I Am Lengend” “I, Robot”
  • Ben left his cell phone on, and that isn’t a title
  • “Smells like teen spirit” Jason
  • “Doesn’t he start?” DING
  • “To Kill A Mockingbird” “One Flew Over A Cuckoo’s Nest”
  • “Run Fatty Run…Noooo it’s Run Fatboy Run”
  • These sound an awful lot like lyrics, come on dinger!
  • “American Pie” “American Pie II” DING
  • DING, “eh, it was probably right” Ken
  • “…Flowers?” {walks off} “Say Flowers for Algernon!” –> “Flowers for Algernon”
  • Suggestion – KEN’S MOM
  • “Big Momma’s House”
  • “House of Pain”
  • “Throw Momma From the Train”
  • “Cream” “{Heavy Sigh}”
  • “Baby Got Back” “Meet The Parents”

Shop Keeper is our next game hosted by Dan

  • Round 1 – Shopkeeper is Ken
  • Ben –> Roast Beef is cowardly or “chicken”
  • Cam–> Phone only calls the White House
  • Ray–> Penny is worth way too much
  • “Man I wish some customers would come” “Glad you turned on the spotlights, I wasn’t sure you were open”
  • “All of a sudden it’s out the door and I have gravy on me”
  • “You can’t get emotionally connected to your food”
  • “How do I know you won’t switch it with one of yours?”
  • “Is it a Buffalo-Head?  Cause those are special”
  • “Did you name it penny? Cause that is a person’s name! {laughing} Hold on…”
  • “I’m going to get an island” “With a penny” “With THAT penny”
  • “I can’t solve Iraq” “Dude, there is a recall on the phone that only calls the President”
  • The above was not abbreviated
  • Round 2 – Shopkeeper is Ben
  • Daniel–>Driver’s License says he is a woman
  • Jason–>Jelly Toed Boots
  • Audience–>Monopoly game is too short
  • “You see what you bought me, or what I bought from you”
  • “This did not protect me, in fact, it hurt me more”
  • “You haven’t fallen into this trend of Crocs have you?”
  • “Two Words, Breakfast Sandwich”
  • “My hormones are fine, just slightly identified”
  • “I bet you would like this large alcohol”
  • “Ooooooohhh, you’re not Danielle?”
  • “Hah, I love the Free Parking”
  • “All of our toys, from GIJoes to Potato Heads have gone Berserko”

We begin our Intermission with anticipation of the performance by Marq Twain and Charlemange Gandhi.  This is their second performance at one of our shows, and if their last show proved anything it is that we are in for a treat.  If you didn’t have a chance to make it to tonight’s show, don’t worry because Marq Twain will be back on Friday to perform once again.  I highly recommend you stop by because these two gentlemen  have a very good stage presence to accompany their creative song stylings.

And back to our regularly scheduled program.  We want to know a little more about Cam.  He definitely wants to get revenge on Brett and ruin his future career.  “Death By Deliciousness” is the candidate for new wing flavor.

Daniel introduces Freeze Tag to the enjoyment of the audience.

  • Suggestion – FISH TACO
  • “It’s about that time for crime fighting”
  • “Are you a clone victim too?”
  • “Yo, this London bridge is easy, bitches”
  • “You’ve become two people”
  • “Don’t mock my art”
  • “You ever tweak a nipple Bob?”
  • “Those calves are way too small, have you seen these bitches?”
  • “OK, let’s talk about pitching a little more”
  • “My biggest fantasy is to not use references people under 35 wouldn’t get”
  • “Please, please give me the Genie Bits”
  • “TACO’d!”

Here comes Revolver introduce by Ken

  • Cam & Dan – Squid
  • Ben & Cam – Apartheid
  • Aud2 & Ben – 40oz
  • Dan & Aud2 – Spaceship
  • “Because space is fun. Is this twenty questions”
  • “Say it. Say ‘Beer me'”
  • “It’s just a motto”
  • “It goes faster than speed”
  • “It’s tommorow, let’s go”
  • “I think that’s illegal” “Nope”
  • “Yeah, that cookie is made out of paper”
  • “These are paperclips”

Last game of the night is Blank Walks Into A Bar and Dan takes the reins

  • JUNGLE GYM
  • “I thought this was a monkey bar”
  • “See? Saw? What’s the difference?”
  • STOVE
  • “That’s out of my range”
  • “You can’t drink here, you’ve got one in the oven”
  • TELEMARKETER
  • “We can’t serve you” “It’s your call”
  • ALICE IN WONDERLAND
  • “Don’t be a mad hater”

Our show comes to an end.  Thanks to those who made it out this Wednesday.  Hope to see you in a couple of days when we will be enjoying the company of Marq Twain again.

Have a good rest of the week.

Friday December 4th is all about Anna

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120409famHey guys and gurls! Today is Friday December 4th and welcome to BYOI!

Tonight we have Daniel, Jon, Ken, and Jimmy

Our show tonight is all about… Anna

What do we know about about ? – Woonsocket, goes to Johnson and Wales, went to the mall with Kerri and Jen, hates Spencer, shops at Express, has a black friday wool coat, would take away Spencer’s phallic symbol, would love to work for Donald Trump, likes Nip/Tuck, fav is the porn star on Nip/Tuck, movie of her life is Girls gone wild

Yes and that’s how it’s done! – Of course she is gonna come over… come on, listen you want me to smack you with my pizza…. removal…. tool?

Hot Seat – Spencer’s here, it’s Grannies gone wild, hey there big boy,

The Quickest Minute – Hop on Pop – I killed him, I swear I hopped, you gotta help me with the body, I’m addicted – Ruler & CSI… and a rabbit – look at the bullet hole in that thing, it’s bigger then his body, it’s woosocket what to you expect a 7 year old to carry, I don’t believe me either.

Party Quirks – it’s a Snuggi party – bird with a facial tic, flava flave, has to one up everyone – Pizza roll party – Mortition… for Smurfs, constipated sweat glands, speaking with literation.

Intermission

Freeze Tag –  Tiger Woods – it’s dirty, I told you not to anger Superman, I’ll show you what happens when I hit the ball with a rubber club, I didn’t even get a coffee man, I’ll flip a Canadan nickel for that donut, you’ve had a back up Shempthis whole time, what does cream cheese have to do withhomosexual, I just broke my let on Pop, sack race but with landminds, oh… it’s a mind sweeper,  this is the last time I work for Express, can’t you tell… it’s purple, but withyour tongues… together… real close, You have like 5 nubs, body shots, why would you take the place of an anvil, you tried to hit me with Tim, I like things rare, like here’s a virgin and No.

Type Writer – Jenna and Jameson at the beach in Ft. Lauderdale “I got no depth perception”- Peter Pan addicted to meth in Breaking Pan “I was flying and now I wanna be FLYING”,  

Famous Last Words – Charles Dickens, Tiny Tim, Scrooge, Santa, Tiger Woods, Elf, Ghosts of Christmas, Frosty the Snowman.

 

AND SCENE!

We hope you had a great time at the show, if you missed it we will see you next time at BYOI!

BYOI – 12/2 – Marina, Marina!

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120209famIt’s a dark and stormy night outside, but the laughs continue at BYOI!  And this show is all about Marina!

Marina went to a very hot Salem High School, works at J.Jill selling clothes to Moms, she loves to shop at the Wrentham outlets for Uggs, has a bad case or Road Rage and loves a good game of tennis.  Isn’t she a catch! 😛

Adam warmed us up into a good rhythm.

Hot Seat – Ninja Neck Snaps, Grand Theft Auto, Lady Gaga Substitute, Barney ate me, Just get out!, The entire OC, and Tiger Woods hits a tree!

Quickest Minute – Cam and John have narcissistic dishes and Steve is a free loader.  Then Dan and Adam show Jimmy that it is really easy to throw apples.

Party Quirks – Gumby(Mike), Afraid of Potholes(Cam) and An Eagle who likes to lift heavy things (Adam).

  • “Don’t Taze Me Bro”
  • Turpentine is not a good spray
  • “I love gumbo!”
  • “I’m 6’4 of course I do.”

Then we had Craig’s List (Jimmy), Aging Rapidly(Marina), and Scrambled Eggs (Ben).

  • Marina makes a mess at birth
  • Jimmy is two connections away
  • Ben just wants Dan to end it.

Then we had intermission, where the very talented Matt McKay performed.  You should have been there, it was awesome. (PS. He might be back Friday!)

Freeze Tag:

  • Cam – “I think we should focus on the fact that there is a talking shark here.”
  • Ben – “No, no. It’s a priest a Rabbi and a Polish guy on a plane with one parachute.  It’s like the joke!”
  • Adam – “I’m sorry guys, the Marina is closed, it smokes sometimes.”

Type Writer – We had two stories, catcher in the Potato Bread and what seemed like Milk 2 according to Ben.

Famous Last Words – There were words, they were famous, if you missed it, it sucks to be you.  Best stolen line though… “What, no Ghost Busters 3?”

And Scene!