Archive for April, 2010

BYOI – From Yarn to Barbie!

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042810famSo another fantastic show tonight by the BYOI cast and our spectacular audience members.

Our FAM tonight was Crystal, she has like 30 cousins, an sister named Leslie and an annoying and funny brother named William.  Her Grandmother is 69 years old and smokes and cooks ham.  She has a make shift roommate (Ariel) and hate Paranormal Activity.  She was once asked to bend over for $5 by an army Cadette and is secretly a bass-a$$… which makes Adam, by her definition, the baddest.

So from that we got, cousins number 24 and 27, a bag of douche, a bear who shaves to be human, Knitting with Doug in a pretzel factory, sky malling with Pacino at the gym, “Is that Grandpa your wearing?,” Fat Rappers win, “Is that Suzie?,” porcupine fish, buying booze, losing my Cherry Coke, “I’ve been seeing onamonapia,” “When he dies we can just put him on the lawn, attacked by a sigh and a Barbie in pantyhose!

And Scene!

Friday 4/23/10 OUR 100th BLOG POST!!!

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042310famTonight we are celebrating our 100th blog post! And to celebrate this momentous event we have a fantastic show starring Daniel, Oscar, Adam, Jimmy, Beth, Ken, and YOU… our audience!

F. A. M. – Dennis – was on The Daily Show, loves to ski, once had a whole trail to himself, likes to draw little mosquitoes, Parents Steve and Christine, Irish Catholic, Best Friend Ken who is energetic and funny, They dressed up as Avatar aliens and went to a bar mitzvah.

DAY IN THE LIFE – ‘Dan and Ken are living in Zen’, there’s a cliff…. Hi Cliff, He didn’t stay in school, Next thing I know I’m turning tricks on a river boat in Missouri, Shalom, I was born a woman but I became a man today, where do I plug in my hair, I’ve been eyeballing that surge protector since I walked in, God I hate community college, someone should commit me to some sort of craft, there goes my Rolodex.

FORTUNATELY, UNFORTUNATELY – “Old Man and the Pea’ The story told by Adam and Dan started out with drinking sour milk, jockey strap adjusting, and eppi pen made by bic.

Round 2 – Rubber Poland – Rubber balls that are bombs, two people in one bomb suit, keys to the heart, same suit marriage

SIT, STAND, LIE DOWN – Bunny Ears – Look it’s the whole story of Easter, have you been taking narcoleptic medications, I’m a pagan… a Wiccan…  that offends me, I’m just gonna do it, I want Muhammad in a bear suit, The whole story of Wicca is a Squiggle?!?, I’m really regretting that I have the whole story of Easter on my back, See how it works… zzzzzzzzz… Christmas.

BEASTIE RAP – Tad – Dad, Rad, Mad, Lad, Sad, Cad (only one on the team said it) – Rob – cob – Blue – Sue, glue, flu, hue… got em mixed up – Jen – hen, ken, pen, ten


WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – Dominatrix harboring, designating Hitler, daily hoeing, dodging haberdashers, doing hippity-dippidy, dehydrating hobos, dramatically hurrying, ditching hitchhikers, dividing highlights, donkey hankering, double heading, dry heaving, deconstructing Hamlet, drying hosiery, dumping hermits, documenting Herberts, dyslexia having

PARTY QUIRKS – Eyeball keeps falling out, lady gaga who shaves every 5 seconds and a light bulb – Hey check out this light bulb, Why are we stretching now, we’re gonna play guess where this guys eyeball went, I’ll take your picture if you take this pie in the face, Are you a werewoman?

A medicine cabinet, points out peoples’ flaws as Mickey Mouse and David  “the Hoff” Hasselhoff – Is your bathroom free?  It’s not free, it’s ten cents.  For a guy who wears a speedo, you don’t shave very well.  Are you the inside of my mother’s purse?  You’re not Dick Tracey, you’re just an alcoholic.

SLOGANS – New shoes – so fine cause the stitching is done by 5 year olds, Mosquitoes – find out what the buzz is all about, Irish Catholics – if you like to get busy this religion is for you, Fox News – We’re always right, Phillip Seymour Hoffman – because obese women need something to masturbate to also, Repression – because Mommy says so, Keep kids out of trouble – I stayed in school and now I’m an improve actor

SAY IT AGAIN – Germs – Was that someone dressed in furry clothing, Germs not Germans, I’m not here cause I’m pretty, oops, I figured that if you were in flames it would smell yummy, it sounds like a grandfather clock, there could be germ-womans, only if you phrase the bomb in the form of a question.

High five – Seriously a blocked high five, cause I had several appendices, Just cause my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard


BYOI Blog 04/21/2010

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042210famHello there, and welcome to the B.Y.O.I. Blog for this Comedy Wednesday! Our cast tonight included Adam, Oscar Van Pudding, Jimmy, Beth, Jon, and Daniel. Great line up for such a great show.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T The Spot

Beth and Adam get this show started off real quick. They start off with a conflict, then through some master scene work, they resolve the conflict with what we like to call, “Yes & That’s How It’s Done”

Jimmy warmed us up by being inspired by the Improv Boston Marathon from Sunday. It was great to see the audience as a whole running together to complete this little marathon run, complete with a great victory pose.

Our F.A.M. tonight was Ashley. She’s from Norton. It’s a small town with nothing much to do. She likes to go to the Art Museum in Boston. Her best friend, Jess, is mostly a quiet innocent type. She dreams to become a pastry chef.

Day in the Life of “Ashley” – Beth and Jon go on a bad date, and Beth is angry at everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Oscar arrives in Norton, and is marked down as having fun by Adam. As they are chatting about all the things you can’t do in Norton, Oscar is waiting for his friend, Daniel, who picks swords from the trees.

Fortunately, Unfortunately – Oscar has fortunately lost his baby. Unfortunately is didn’t have any limbs, according to Adam.

2nd round – Jon has fortunatley got on his train on time. Unfortunately he could only do midget modeling, according to Beth.

Sit, Stand, Lie Down – Beth, Jon, and an audience member complained about her birthday party. Jon is drunk, and the audience member is the voice of reason.

2nd round – Adam, Jimmy, and another audience member have a great scene all about falling in love, and friends coming together and realizing where true love really lies.

Beastie Rap – I got a friend, and his name is Tom. Hey now you, get off my lawn! I got this friend, his name is Pedro. My cup of coffee, I call it Joe! I got a friend, and her name is Ashley. When i make potatoes, i got Smashey!


What Are You Doing? – Acting real bald. Plowing mushrooms. I am plunging bathtubs. Being ware of the dog. Finally found Nemo.

Party Quirks – Oscar always has throws the best parties, and invites the coolest of the cool. Tonight he invited Jon, who is Special, Beth is an Electric Cigarette, and an audience member is The Bathroom. When the audience member joins the party, he blurts out, “If anyone in your party needs to come inside me, it’s alright.” Beth’s butt glows whenever she is dragged around the party. Most children think they are like Jon, however they are not.

2nd Round – Jimmy’s parties are always a blast. Tonight his guest list included an audience member as Keanu Reeves, another audience member as a coat hanger, and Daniel as the guy that says ‘Hella…’ too much.

Slogans – 2010 census – You sense use, we’ll cense you. / Parents – Can’t afford birthcontrol? Become a parent for free.

Say It Again – Adam and an audience member are going to dig a grave. “Here’s a shovel (DING), here’s a bottle of mace (DING), here’s a bomb cause i don’t feel like digging.”

2nd Round – Oscar and two audience members are idiots on motorcycles.

3rd round – Jon and Jimmy just watched Beth get hit in the head by a meteorite. “I thought if i closed my eyes, it wouldn’t hit me (DING), I thought my mom would protect me (DING), Jack@$$!”

Don’t forget to come see us every Friday @ 11pm & Wednesday @ 9pm, all @ The Spot on Thayer Street.


Boston Marathon Shows at Improv Boston

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041810famaWe did two great shows today at Improv Boston’s Improv Marathon.

The first show at 8:30am was breakfast with BYOI and had our FAM Nikki.  She loves the movie Final Destination, had a crush on he old teacher and would run in a marathon to raise money.  In the quickest minute, Adam tried to save the audience members life, only to finally ask Beth to kill him.  Then in the next game Dan was able to guess that Al Gore lost his rubber ducky in Timmy in the well.  We have a few scenes including some top shelf grandma and wrapped it up with a game of Hoedown.

041810fambThe Second show at 2:20pm has a FAM of Jen.  Jen likes Pride and Prejudice, has a crush on Obama and would run if she was being chased.  We broke into an all out wrap about Jen.  A short version of Pride and Prejudice… in FLAMES!  Beth let an audience member be late because his paper airplane flew into a volcano.  And finally some fun scenes about pissing on caviar that grows on trees.

And Scene!!!

Friday 4/16/10 is all about Greg

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041610famToday we have a great show for you! Cast tonight include Daniel, Beth, Adam, Jimmy, Ken, and Jon.

F.A.M. – Greg… not Goey… Doesn’t have a girlfriend, worst ex is so bad that opposite would be equal to skipping through daisies. Works as a programmer, friend is JP, likes the sports bar. Sister Sasha, brother Zack, brother Zack is a soccer goalie with a looooong goatee, Greg likes to play basketball, his advise… Don’t get married before you’re 28

REVOLVER – Inspired by Greg – Skipping through field of daises, bad girlfriend express, aspires to marry young, only OK at basket ball… “what are we going to serve at the wedding… breast milk?”, I ain’t no gardener and I ain’t no ornithologist, I saw her trip over her shoes and hurt her own boob, I’m not gonna do this anymore… take the bunny kid

SPORTS COMMENTATOR – International Dish washing Competition – Jimmy and Ben started attacking each other with soapy water and dirty dishes. Ben cheats by loading a dishwasher. Then in a bold move Ben threatens to cut off his own hand and instead stabs Jimmy with the knife.

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES – Jimmy is late for work…. Daniel is the boss, Lost keys, ran out of gas, and abducted by aliens – I lost my spoon collection… I had ice cream in my engine… I went tandem sky diving with an alien.

2nd round – Our very own door girl, Beth was late for work, shame on her. Her boss Adam is a major P.I.A. and it’s a good thing she had some great reasons. She lost pants, the donuts not on time, then Big Foot ran across the road. “I lost my underwear!” “You’re not wearing any underwear?”

IRISH DRINKING SONG – ‘insurance’ and when I make my covers, it makes me think of plumbers


WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – “G C” Grounding Charities, Going Crazy ‘B O’ Badgering old people, burring otters, British Oversight, buying origami, Black-Ops…ing, “N K” Needling Kanididles, Needing Kites

SHORT CUTZ – ‘you have room for the Markus?’, Nurse that would be too painful… use the Easy Button, STAPLE ME!, I’m so young and drunk and stupid, are those daisies on your nipples?

FAMOUS LAST WORDS – Sour Milk – ‘don’t you dare grab me frat boy… I’ve been in here for 5 years’, Homer Simpson – ‘Mmmmm KFC Double Down’, Tiger Woods – ‘Putter… but I hardly know her… or her… or her…’, Stewie Griffin – ‘A football field sounds good for my head’, Pickle – ‘Other pickles relish every moment’, “someone who died in the 1500’s…. EVERYONE”

REMAKE – Corn Hole Basement – ‘So I just roll it into the hole?’, ‘Do not shoot the dust bunnies’, ‘When did we get ducks in Kansas’, *space smash*, ‘No pants Monday’, *space meow*, Ken switches it to a Zombie Musical! “I think we are drifting and I want a divorce, *meow brains*, ‘Zombie bunnies have come to take us over *nibble nibble*


BYOI – April 14th and B stands for Belly Dancer!

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041410fambHey there, and welcome to the blog for the B.Y.O.I. blog, brought to you by the letter ‘B’ for Belly Dancing. Tonight we had a very special intermission act. Ms. Jamie Lee Fury’s Belly Dancing. Our Cast tonight included Ben, Beth, Adam, Jimmy, Jon, and Daniel.

Tonight started with a bang coming from Daniel. His great R.E.S.P.E.C.T. speech reached out to all those present in the room, and then some. Great job Daniel.

Jon and Ben taught us all about ‘Punking to Help, Not to Hurt’. Meaning giving traits or gifts that help add to a scene, rather than just randomizing, and leaving your scene partners stranded. Cranberry’s was the topic of choice. When someone says something, the other partner should listen and help add to the scene. And thats what we call Yes and That’s how it’s Done.

Ben warmed us up by splitting the audience into 3 groups. Group 1 was The Incredible Hulk. Group 2 was Spider-Man. And group 3 was Superman. After many times aiming back and forth, group 1 was victorious.

041410famOur F.A.M. tonight was Tana. She is a singer, and she met one of her best friends working at the front desk of her job. She is also a nurse in training because she really likes to help people. ‘Hold on’ are her favorite words to say strictly due to how she says it. She also takes  a poll to try and find out why guys ‘like to screw virgins’.

Revolver – Adam and Jimmy – learning about virgins, Ben and Adam – ahahaha , Beth and Ben – sings and talks, Beth and Jimmy – Amsterdam.

Sport Commentator – Daniel and Beth Commentated about the sport of Brushing Your Teeth. Jimmy and an audience member helped to mime this sport out for all to see. Shooting each other with tooth-paste, water hoses, and stealing the other competitors fake teeth was just some of the great competition happening in this game tonight.

2nd round – Adam and an audience member commentated this great sports event, riding the bus. Jon and Jimmy are professional riding busers, with expert skillz.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – poor Beth, she had a hangover, got stuck in traffic, and her pet alligator got loose and now she is late for work at the agency for choosing high schools. Great job goes to Jimmy and the audience member that helped mime why she was late to her boss Daniel.

2nd round – Ben was late for work because the walk of shame, kid is sick, and lost his pants. Jon and Beth helped him out mime-ing out those actions so Ben could tell his boss, Adam.

Irish Drinking Song – Jimmy, Daniel, Adam, and Ben rocked this song out all about ‘The Front Desk”, “Having a Best Friend”


What Are You Doing? – Tickling speedos, teaching sympathy, beating mother. LOL!

Short Cutz – Slrobin Hood, aka Slum Robin Hood. He steals from the middle class and gives to the upper class just for kicks and giggles. ‘I passed 6th grade.’ ‘That means you are in the middle!’ ‘No it doesn’t, it means that I have done all that i was suppose to pass so that I could get to where I am now.’

Famous Last Words – Of; Rudolph, ‘i just realized how bad it is to be horny in the Red Light District.’ Dick Cheney, ‘Boom, Alright, you got me!’ Keyboard, ‘Ctrl+Alt+F*ck You!’ Kate Gosselin, ‘I was wondering if i could go on that show, The Bachelor?

Remake – Beth and an audience member make a great scene all about forgetting to buy some munchies. Jimmy and another audience member remade the exact same scene only using mime and subtitles. Jon and yet another audience member onces again re-created the same scene, only this time they had to do it as a biography.

With time to spare, and time to kill. the cast decides that to do another Irish drinking Song about college. Ben, Jimmy, Jon and Adam rocked this out and had the entire audience crying of laugher.

Great show tonight, and a very helpful audience tonight. Thanks once again to Ms. Jamie Lee Fury for a great intermission show. Don’t forget about Improv Boston’s Improv Marathon = 26.2 hours of improv, come see all the different groups, including our very own B.Y.O.I. Sun Apr 18th @ 8:30am.  Thanks to the group that came out from Rhode Island College!


BYOI – 4/9/10

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040910famOur F. A. M. was Jammies, so named because his name is Paul J… or P. J. He tried to pull the wool over Oscars eyes by lying about some stuff but Oscar saw right through him.

The show was great and the cast was spot on. Oscar was in truly rare form and totally ROCKED “Timmy in the well”.  If you weren’t at the show you really should have been there.

We all look foreward to seeing everyone at the next show. Iknow I can’t wait for the next show.


BYOI – 04/07/2010

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040710famHello and welcome to the 1 week from April Fool’s Day B.Y.O.I. show blog. No jokes except the best of the best here. Tonight’s cast was an all male gang up of Daniel, Oscar Van Pudding, Jon, Ben, Jimmy, and Adam.

Starting the night off with a bang, Daniel spat out the good ole R.E.S.P.E.C.T. with the smoothest of grace.

Yes and That’s How it’s Done – Jimm, Adam, and Oscar taught the audience the art of moving around while performing a scene with multiple players.

Ben got the audience to come alive by using his body to control the sounds of the audience. If that doesn’t make any sense, you should have been here to witness it. If it does make sense, you should seek some outside help.

Our F.A.M. tonight was Amanda, whom is from Cumberland, where there is not much to do there except get ice cream from the ‘Ice Cream Machine’, and her favorite flavor is Cheesecake. She doesn’t seem to like the Lincoln Mall, but works at Build-A-Bear, and her favorite bear that someone built was a dragon. She likes to sing to whatever is on the radio, and her favorite movies are the Lord of the Ring trilogy.

Meanwhile – A all cast version of a day in the life of Amanda. Crazy scenes that all somehow fit together included the WWE, tatoo shops, Cumberland, inside the fluff machine at Build-A-Bear, inside a ven-diagram of WWE stars

Questions – Our theme for this game was ‘eating lunch under a tree’. Lots of people forgetting to ask questions, DING! No one was able to hold their own and stay for the whole thing. Although, all players, audience members and cast, did a great job.

Pavlovian Response – An audience member has to pinch his own nipples, whenever someone in the scene touches their face. Oscar has to repeat whatever he just said with more elaboration whenever someone says, “umm”. Jimmy dances whenever someone walks backwards. I’m jealous… they got to play in a swamp of fudge.

2nd round – Adam has to ‘do the robot’ whenever someone talks directly to him. An audience member has to exit whenever someone says ‘the’. Jon has to lick his lips when someone made a gester towards him. These three boys created multiple forms of Rocket Power.

Hoedown – Oscar rocked the guitar of love, while Adam, Ben, Jimmy, and an audience member helped to make some songs all about the Lord of the Ring movies.


Rope – WOW! Lots of laughs from all the lines not matching the actions, but still hilarious never the less.

Interrogation Lineup – Who knew that jay-walking at a ballet recital with Christopher Columbus. Jon figured out the action. Oscar got the location. Oscar cut in line to confess who helped with this crime.

2nd round – Giving a wet-willy at a church with Sandra Bullock. After a few clues down the line, Jimmy figured out the action. Oscar got the location pretty quick. Few people down the line, Jimmy’s smart and figured out the partner in this crime.

Confucius Says – A few good jokes, and a few that didn’t make any sense, but was still funny never the less.

Pillars – Adam and an audience member created a great scene using Daniel and another audience member for random phrases. Hurray for Bubble Gum Day!

2nd round – Jon, Oscar, and Ben had a great race blowing up floaties.  Awesome job to those audience members for keeping this round great with all those random phrases.


BYOI’s Friday 4/2/10 is all about Courtney…

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040210famHello and Welcome to BYOI Blog. Hope every one is dry or drying out after all that rain the other day!  Tonight’s cast is Daniel, Oscar, Adam, Ken and Jon!

FAM – Courtney is from Mystic CT… where there is an aquarium, dad is in the Navy, mom is an Occupational Therapist, Friend is Molly and she likes cats… not the musical, likes to sing, sings in the shower and car, goes to school for management and marketing, likes to keep her options open, ‘nothing crazy happens to me’, tree fell on her car, afraid of heights,

Freeze Tag – CALL BACK!, Fraggle flavored cream cheese, I just created life, who do I owe $500 to, I kinda did cause I’m kinda a pyro, these are not the droids your looking for, that’s what she said

Chainsaw – Mortician, barbershop, spork became… Sausage maker, Jedi barbershop, water bottle… butcher, Jedi barbershop, empty canteen… butcher, Star Wars movie, coconut… Surgeon, Indian barber shop, coconut

Movie Critics – “Just Press Snooze” – you caught me in the middle of standing up sleeping, it may look like coconut but it’s a spork, turning chicken s**t into chicken salad, he has to explain exactly what sporking is, are you drawing boobs?, I’ve been trying to kill you this whole movie

Round 2… “Old Navy” – You have a gun in the fold of your flesh?  That is not a genetic trait in my family.  We can’t show that because this is public television…although I really want to.

Greatest Hits – Tonight was the Greatest Hits of the Navy. First song was a duet blues tune, sung by Adam and Ken. Second song was a nice solo folk tune, sung by Jon. Third up was a ‘hardcore rap song’, sung by Adam, Ken, and an audience member. Lastly, folk country was the tune to a great group effort song to wrap this hilarious song game.


Rope – That’s cause I’m sewing fish lips shut, I’m blowing one up for you right now, I’m trying to break up with you, fore, I’m digging one up for her right now, you’ll be a fan when I’m done, That’s why Billy eats so much, last time you did that it hurt

Good Cop / Bad Cop – Put his shoes on in dojo with Arnold Schwarzenegger… you like fish… it’s sole, no it’s just oregano, horse shoes deserve to be on, do-john?…. OH MAN…, I though it would pump you up, Karl Sagan is my buddy, he is the govenator….

Round 2, making balloon animals on the Lost island with Christopher Walken, you gave one kid a snake and the other a giraffe, said it was a manatee, I thought those kids were blind, I don’t get why this place is so popular, Everest is surrounded by water if you look at a big ol’ globe, these are the cowbells… I need MORE cowbells, he keeps the weirdest things up his a***

Blank Walks Into the Bar – bagel, his eyes are all red… I’m lightly toasted, Tree – who owns the red Toyota… I just fell on it, Mystic CT – bartender says HOLY S*** it’s the only thing worth seeing in CT, Lime… walks in with a sour look on his face, flip flops – bartender says un-uh flip flops says come on I’m wearing a thong, big bird – what’s wrong with that guy… someone snuffed out his friend – big bird starts peeing all over the place, when the bartender asks what he is doing big bird says this has been brought to you by the letter “P”.

Lines From a Cup – you go Glen Coco – my loins burn for you – And that’s when they found me in a banana hammock – that’s what she said – if it weren’t for my hair I wouldn’t have gone to college – batteries not included – that’s legend… wait for it… darjengeeee

Round 2 – no more rhymes… I mean it – you boys like Mexico? – I’m half the man I used to be – I’ve never seen one so old – duh… to make room for the tuna – 60% of the time it works every time – Sebastian Ludlow for president – it isn’t very funny meow is it – hug a random prostitute – touching you touching me sweet caroline, burn baby burn – bye bye boys have fun storming the castle