Archive for October, 2010

BYOI – All Hallows That’s Not Eve

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103010famTonight is a very special HALLOWEEN SHOW of BYOI!!!

Tonight’s FAM is Tilly, the surrogate mother who has had babies for many people. Including twins!

The cast consisted of Adam (Astronut), Mike (Australian Spiderman, huntsman to be exact), Dan (Leaf Blower), Marina (The Madhatter), Beth(1st of November), and Jimmy (On Vacation)!

FAMcuts – Sassy b*tches love to change their name. Don’t get lost with your lovers. If you’re the 3rd boyfriend and find out who the 2nd boyfriend is… DONT tell the 4th boyfriend about it, ok? If you’re the 9th, you’re pregnant somehow. Deal with it! Mommy needs her ice cream time and the kids need to go away. Ice cream time is nothing compared to drink time though. Mom makes us watch her shave her legs. Oh wait, she also has peoples babies for them… but who knows why, we don’t!

Catch Phrase – 2 people, 2 phrases each, fun times in this scene game. How can a coach of a baseball team coach without going to baseball college! ‘I want my money back’. Too bad the money was already spent! I think you should yell at the umpire for his bad calls. ‘I WANT MY MONEY BACK’ About the game please!! ‘ If we’re not the kings of the field we won’t be anything this year. ‘It just ain’t enough!’ annnnnd SCENE

Starting off at theVFW (very fine wrestling) facility… one wrestler can show you the world, while one is extremely offended at everything you do to him. “what’s wrong with you?’ oh so whats your signature move? “I can show you the world…” oh so you pull your pants down and thats it huh? Interesting we can use a guy like you in this business. And the other wrestler can tand and be offended! “Don’t do that to me.” TOO BAD!!! SCENE!!!

Everything (is spooky) Emporium! – Marina is looking for a giant eyeball that spontaneously combusts. For Daniel, he’s looking for the ideal Sasquatch-Bigfoot-mythical-creature who does your taxes ‘for line 7 he just put a footprint WTF!!’, and Ray is looking for the mother from ‘Pyscho’ dressed in a bunny suit ‘*insert bohemian rhapsody here *mommaaaaaaaaaaaa, just killed  mannnnnnn’… spooooooooky. SCREAM!!—er scene.

Back in My Day – we didn’t have buses so no one cares where you sat …we didnt have ice cream, but we all knew ben & jerry were just ‘roommates’ …we didnt have ghosts, and no good pottery either …we didnt have ghosts, we had caspar and he was a living dickhead!

Questions – How much wood could a woodchuck chuck? Do they even live in Florida – Don’t I counterfeit all my own money? Do you like cereal from the basement? – Do I need credentials for this banker job? How about just football achievements? – Why you bring in up stupid crap? Ever heard of a philosophy with that? – How bigs your mouth? Shouldn’t you be asking how big my stomach is instead? – Are you aware your under contract? What contract? (new person) Is this your contract? and SCENE!

Guacemole – The yogurt maker is terrible. but the no haired son came in to save the football team! But no one really cared. After sipping on a cup of tea. Too bad the little boy doesn’t like tea and went to christmas instead. Somehow his razor became a tazer when he induced a lot of flavor. But the wife was in the navy and the son was in the slavey, but still he’s the utests little baby. Yogurt day was about to be celebrated with a new flavor: GUACEMOLE!!!!!!!!

***INTERMISSION***

Adam and Jimmy start the second half off wth a little lesson about YES AND-ing…. so YES AND thats how its done!

ROPE! – Scenes of chaos about kittens getting loose and digging graves while having tired arms. Making 4000 cupcakes for a party suuuuuuuuuuucks. Hopscotch peeing doesn’t work out in the end. Love me more… *manical laughing* I will! ghosts are afraid of potatoes… just fyi. Don’t mess up mommy’s archery shooting… she’s on fire. Crayon loving is a sin according to avid book-readers.

Scariest (serious) Scene – Magic tricks don’t work in scary movies… Do it again. Magic isn’t REAL!!!! Magic gets absorbed by those who don’t believe in it. Most people are afraid of magic because Houdini died doing magic. Somehow we haven’t gotten to the end of the trick, spooky. Shall I saw you in half? The classes haven’t taught me how but I’m going to try anyway. I regret volunteering for this. Its not my first time getting in a box for a man… see we can be serious!

Sit, Stand, Lie Down – I’m gunna take a shower.why you guys loungin around? The drunk guy on the floor doesn’t. Why is she throwing up?? I dunno… but I’m gunna get on my knees to pray for her! Heaven is in the shower though so nevermind, I need to get up and take one. Now hypothetically…showering means what to you, I’m a philosopher and need to understand this from my chair. Your logic is tiring me *falls over* well I lather before a shower so I don’t understand you =[ ::dies::

(Texas) Chainsaw (Massacre) – injuring for the occupation, injuring for the location, and KILLING for the object. Thats how we do it in texas. Time for the OLO (occupation, location, object): mad scientist, backstage, a urinal filled with cobwebs… good luck all you chainsaw peopleszszsz. Here are what people thought were the OLO (you really should have been here, the laughs never stopped):  port-a-potty, bartenders, nightclubs, disc jockeys, toilets, barmitsfa?, hairball, komono, outside in the gutter, bottle-getter-guy, foreign disco-tech school, and ‘easy does it’.

(A real) Revolver – revolvers and porky pig ‘why is my brother foaming at the mouth and why is he a dog?!?!?!?!’, revolvers and cake ‘I can have my cake and eat it too *pulls out revolver!*, revolvers and gaga, revolver and hair loss ‘It’s wabbit season’ ‘duck season”wabbit season!!!!’

Guacemole of the all cast variety – exploding shaving cream is our topic for discussion tonight. Dennis was a horticulturist who liked horticulturism. He would go on all fours and plant. The garden was his home but had no money. Cops with whip cream slap him for being silly. He was afraid of whipped cream so the cop substituted it with shaving cream. Strawberries started growing oon his back. His head made of cauliflower, however he fell in a ham. his cauliflower ear from boxing made him box the cops and then they all did whippets together… which is illegal and not condoned. Strawberries took over the world for some reason… and now the avacadoes came to Earth to take over the strawberries and madddddddeeeeeee. GUACEEEEEMOLLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

That’s the show for HALLOWEEN everyone… Happy Halloweenfrom BYOI =]

BYOI – Oct 27th

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102710famTonight at BYOI, Ben got the crowd warmed up… literally! It was freezing outside so he had everyone do warm-up hugs to warm up the room. Our FAM of the evening was Elise Hayes, a sophomore at JWU studying culinary arts. She loves Iron chef, grilled cheese, and Full House. In our very special FAMcuts game, we learned that butter heals burns as well as talking grilled cheese-es want tomatoes inside them.
When looking for a particular items, we suggest the Everything Emporium where you can get a sponge that clears your throat, a remote-controlled car that builds islands for you, and balloons made of lead for a very special birthday party. Or if you’re looking for a great recipe for Guacemole you should sing about the process. It first starts with a car crash involving your children and hot wife. Then the guy who caused the crash is found to have 1 glass eye and accidentally got in the wrong car with the wrong family. Then, when the cops come it is actually going to be the pope that gives you a ticket. To avoid getting a ticket you slam on the gas, but then the K9 unit chases you and the thought makes your head explode. Fortunately it was all a dream so you made some bacon and breakfast and finished off with some avocado delight also known as guacamole!

Tonight’s lesson was about ‘Yes And-ing’… so start yes anding people!
Our seriously trained serious drama actors performed a theatrical version of Friday the 13th; which went horribly wrong with copious amounts of laughter. At the drop of a chair, the actors got eerily scared and alert that someone was trying to kill them. Then someone had an asthma attack and was told to sit in the chair. At the meer sight of Ben’s frowning face, the audience laughed… also they laughed when he became the chair for the asthmatic to sit in. Ben you’re fired! Little did the actors know that the chair does your taxes and also screams randomly. Very spooky. Also tonight, in a very special game of Chainsaw, our 1st mimer, Jon Audette, came up with a very unique way of conveying the occupation, a detective, to the other mimers. He would hide in a closet and pull out a gun. *BANG* ‘…BINGO!’ and move to another idea of how his victim got killed. Over the course of the game the occupation got lost around mimer number 4, and then somehow found its way back at the end with mimer number 7. A first time with Chainsaw!!!! Amazing. That’s been our show! Happy Halloween to all!

BYOI – 10-22-10

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102210famTonight’s cast consists of Adam Kennedy, Daniel Lee White, John Ring, and Marina Clarke!

Adam Kennedy started the show off with the RESPECT schpeal.

John got us all warmed up by turning the heat on for the first time for the season…

Our FAM this evening is Nicole.   She is studying Psychology at PC. (whoop, whoop!)  She wants to be a child/adolescent counsellor.   She’s an RA, and came to the show with a bunch of her residents, some roomates, and a few other RAs.  Her buddy Claudia is from Haiti.  She went to Atlantic City but didn’t come home a millionaire.

For FAM Post-its:  Where we showed that it’s always the NEXT guy that wins the jackpot.  If a chocolate-chip rocket hits you in the face you’ll be all set for days.   Vampires come from Cabo Verde by way of Cambodia.

First up is the Everything Emporium.  Daniel is running the shop, while Marina is looking for batteries that make everything talk.  John was looking for a sister that can hold her breath for an hour, and an audience member is shopping for a dog that craps money.

And then a round of Fortunately / Unfortunately.   We had an audience member as our optimist, with John as our pessimist.   Marina and another audience member mimed out the story.  We got some lima beans, traded them in for some bad acne, which got us girls that are attracted to personalities, but those girls also have girlfriends, and all we can do is watch and go blind.  Fortunately, the beans just happened to cure blindness, but then we ran out of the last lima beans in the world.

Slogans:  Nintendo… Wii!  A Pen…That’s write!  Pens, because pencils are number two!  Boyfriends… now legal in Iowa!  Iran: when you’re tired of walking.  Iran, WTF?  Unicorns… I told you they were real!  Horses with viagra.  When you’ve outgrown My Little Pony.  A horse with a point.  Sporks, because sometimes your soup is chunky.

Serious Scene: A breakup scene…turned tragic when the break-ee was going to fail all their classes as the break-er had done all their work.  And then SATs got everything all turned around.  A third person was torn between the two, as they didn’t know who was going to get ownership of their friendship after the breakup.

First half ends with Beastie Rap… Yo!  Felix, DNA is a double helix,

Coming back from Intermission with a lesson in heightening and exploring in a Chuck E. Cheese’s.  They had removed the ball pit, but they won a buttload of tickets, so it was still an awesome time.  Then Adam remembered a sad time when some jerk threw a heroin needle in the ball pit, which is probably why it got removed in the first place.

Second half starts up with Wait Right Here!  Conceit was defeated by a timid guy, who was scared off by Cupid, removed by a man with unrequited love, then a drug pusher, then a cop, then a witness, then an occupational therapist telling the witness to be a town cryer, then the unemployed, replaced by a life coach, someone dragging an entire building, someone who just looked like superman, a guy with a missing cat,  then the return of the cop, who was called out as a know-it-all.  Then a reluctant boyfriend, who was directed to a new girl to pursue.

Meanwhile… Dudes hating on each other, leading to a hokey-pokey pizza parlor, then the shitty employee temp agency that the pizza folks came from, then John McCain made friends with a person who was paid in pencils.  Meanwhile, at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue… something improper led us to the drycleaners, where we saw their one employee drinking in the basement.

In Press Conference, John was trying to guess that he was Snooki who was running for president.

Say it Again… A horrible boy makes his grandmother play chess against herself every day.  Granny used to hang out (and whip ’em out) with the cast of the Golden Girls.

Say it Again times two!…A full belly from Thanksgiving leads to a fight over what to watch after the meal, because the man was sick of watching Titanic 7×24 the rest of the year.  The Blockbuster guy came in to retrieve all of the extra Titanic DVDs they had at the house… and he turned out to be Leo DiCaprio in disguise.

Revolver, where we had scenes about Leprechauns getting replaced by unicorns because nobody is interested in rainbows anymore, a little lady who could only talk in baby talk, Sarah Palin who was readying herself for the campaign trail, and an old couple who like to sweat in the sauna.

And we went out with a second round of Beastie Rap!  Niece, yeast, feast, piece.  Blue, two, clue.  Knife, life.  Dress, mess, stress, less.  Toe, go, blow.  Nicole, soul, a-hole, pole, hole, scroll, toll, mole, foal.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene!

BYOI – Private Show for 200 Wicked Cool Nurses!

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102110famHad a great show today at the Hawthorne Country Club in Dartmouth, MA for 200 of the greatest nurses caring for the elderly.  We started off with our FAM for the show Miki, don’t be afraid of her, but do listen to her.  She loves the Biggest Loser, cleaning and always wanted to be a doctor.  So what better person to help give advice.  How should we handle our Administrative Assistants… DON’T, their could be a legal issue.  Next up we played some Try That on for Size and finished up the first half with a game of Pillars.  It was “HAWT!”

In the second half  we started off with some short cuts and learned that fathers can change fast.  Then a Back in My Day where we did not need computers to date we just need… (insert long hilarious rant by John).  Then finished it up with a Greatest Hits about Bed Pans!

Thank you to the nurses and AA’s we had a blast! And scene!!!

10/20/10 Let’s get palindromic.

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102010famTonight’s cast consists of: Adam Kennedy, Beth Hicks, Daniel Lee White, Jimmy Sorel, Jon Audette, and Marina Clarke!

Daniel did the R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (Found out what it means to me!)

To get folks warmed up, Beth went metaphorical on us and told us how improv is all about acceptance, and that life should be the same.  To demonstrate this, she had everyone break out of the walls that have held them in all their lives.

Our FAM this evening is Jason, he’s been the FAM before, and he’s a good friend of ours.  Jason has many jobs, boat and boating supply salesman, amateur improviser, and tennis player / instructor extraordinaire.  He’ll be 21 in March, and would love to go on a cruise to celebrate it.

FAM Post-it.  Air horns are obnoxious, color-sorting your closet brings status, CIS should stand for caveman is stupid, Daniel lost the Beano commercial due to his painful facial expressions.  France versus Canada, Jon knows the sympathetic vibration to Beth’s inner tuning fork.  Misfit Steve just wants to belong, and you should live life without regret, OR pants.

Next up, Marina introduces us to the Everything Emporium.   Jimmy runs the store, while an audience member wants a pencil that sings , Beth wants a frying pan that makes bananas, and Jon is looking for an airplane that turns into the Red Power Ranger.

Beth then took us into Fortunately / Unfortunately, where Adam K was our eternal pessimist, with an audience member as our optimist.  We started with an off-color comment that turned to violence, then surgery, then lightning strikes, multiple targets, a direct hit, a quick getaway, ruined by bad tires.  Soon we were underwater, and then drank the pond, which led to someone being sick.

And then comes Slogans!  Mountain Dew, now with 50% less mountain.  Chicks, better than being called bitches, count ’em before their hatched.  Cats, now with 100% less Broadway, they only pretend to like you.  Fish from the fair, at least you got to throw rings at things, clogging your toilet since 1975.  Hawaiian islands, we *think* Obama was born here, where shell necklaces look like anal beads!

Serious Scene about Safety First, which showed us that kids should not be left on ski lifts on their own, because they’ll push other kids off and break their legs, leading to drug addiction, bad pet care, remorseful, apologetic kids, broken faces, and a whole bunch of folks getting replaced during the scene!

Aaaaaaaaaaaand then Beastie Rap rules the house!  Nobody knows what Spam is,  Almost every part of the week ends in “day,” Adam’s mom is a big ol’ whorsche, Zippity, Zippity, Zippity, ZASS!

Coming back from intermission with a lesson from Jimmy and Beth in heightening and exploring the offers in a scene.

Up next was Wait right here, where we met a Saskatchewan resident with socialized medicine, a trick or treater, a person brandishing a knife, someone with candy-based flatulence, an early riser, a helium distributor, a sniper, an anti-gun lobbyist, a cereal sharer, a man with no brakes, a crash-loving pilot, an avid Scrabble player, a living chocolate Easter bunny, a pyromaniac, and someone who hates toys.

Meanwhile, in Meanwhile:  Kids in a pool got splashed and soaked and received no help from the lifeguard, who was apparently trained to be nothing but mean to kids.  A kid obsessed with a crane arcade machine, orphans that make the best bank robbers, adult adoptees that nobody wants, a laundromat where everyone is irritable, a facility that teaches folks how to fake their resumes, and a cage-fighting training gym where they teach you to take out real trains, leading to a visit to the Emergency Room without gurneys or tables.

Press Conference, where Jon was here to announce how he, Robin Williams, had just gone to the DMV.

Say it again! DING! DING! DING! BAM!  A kid named Bocce liked all of the sodas in the world lined up in front of him, and wanted to get his hands on the Moxie.  Jimmy came in looking for some fish, and Bocce happened to have some in his pants.

Say it again… AGAIN! A 12-year old in a medical school study group realizes that all you need to be a doctor is a stethoscope.   Steve Jobs was manufactured by aliens, some medical study volunteers only want to be touched, and watching the Shining can fix constipation by scaring the crap out of you.

The night was brought to a close with a final round of Beastie Rap!   A land made of Candy, A breed of dog “shitney,” throw me in coach, like my eggs poached, sitting down for an online chat, kitty grew up and is a cat, playing some ball with a baseball bat, me oh me oh me oh my, stab you with a knife and then you die, gonna cry, favorite food is fried, not wet by dry, above the ground is the sky, birds and planes fly, first name Bill-last name Nye!

And scene!

BYOI’s Frat Party Friday/Sorority Saturday

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101510famFriends, Romans, improvisers, lend me your ears… Caesar here bloggin’ it up for this super special BYOI event! Madness? Blasphemy? This is…FRAT PARTY FRIDAY!

Our toga-bound, collegiate cast tonight includes: Daniel, Adam, Marina, John, Randy, and Ken.

Marina warmed us up by taking a little trip to the club. Do we pay for taxis? No way! Unfortunately, that means they don’t come back to pick us up afterwards, so we’ve gotta walk home drunk.

SO…to kick off Frat Boy Friday, we’ve got our first FAM of the night, Bob! Bob’s wearing a Slayer shirt, but likes Iron Maiden more because they write their own songs. The only things he and his friends care about are metal and Nintendo (good choices). Bob has a distaste for people who are better at basketball than him and George Lucas, that terrible dream killer of a man.

Before Bob gets to sit down and enjoy the show, we’re gonna play a game of FAMmy quirks and see how well Bob knows the people he’s told us a little about. Bob’s mastery guessing prowess made short work of our players. His reward: sit down and enjoy the show he paid to see.

Our first game of the night is Pillars. Randy and an audience member found out how metal balloon animals really are. Fortunately, they were able to resolve their relationship through the careful analysis of flung monkey poo.

Our next game of the night is Lines From a Drunk, and boy, that cup was full of nonsense, much like this scene. It seems Adam’s credit card and money were no good, so he tried to pay the gas station attendant in donuts, but the attendant was a little whacky and decided to drink the gasoline and harass them instead.

In our second run of the game Daniel is a neglected drunk child who was raised by Consuela, the maid, who’s drunken lines turned out to be very appropriate. Our audience member quickly sought help from a new housekeeper as the plot to kick Consuela out brought upon the timely end of her son.

Next up is Thesis, in which our players will tell us more than we will ever need to know about some off the wall topics.

Turtle Diving: An epidemic, an Olympic sport, or a natural resource for jewelry making. Whatever the case, everyone seems to be against this tragedy. “Who doesn’t love a turtle?” The Olympic sport won in the end, getting an A- and inspiring some crazy scenes including one about a turtle strip joint.

Hey! What kind of door can’t you slam? A revolving one! Which is similar to our next game: Revolver. “KONK! Well at least you saw it coming.” John and an audience member hogtied Randy at a frat party, and another audience member got high and drank some ipecac.

Next up is a twist on our awesome lines games called, Last Night at a Party… Here we go:

Monkey: “…I got so drunk, woke up in a monastery and couldn’t find my keys.”

Exploding Kegs: “…my buddy pumped the keg so much he blew me three houses over.”

Drugs: “…my buddy wanted me to try this new drug. It was a suppository. It was kinda cool.”

Now we’re gonna challenge our players lyrical wit in Sing It! Adam, John and an audience member tell us a little about how they met and their love for mountain climbing, but secretly they planned to leave their friend on the mountain. They decided to pretend to be friends in a fantastic trio finish!

And now, for a brief intermission…

Darn that Ken, he was late again. Only thing is this time he had some pretty good excuses. I mean dropping your toothbrush into the toilet, he didn’t know what to wear, and having his way with a turtle diver.

Ken and Adam made up a new spin on an old game. Ken is going to play as Adam, Adam to play as Daniel, John to play as Randy, Randy as Ken, Daniel as Marina, and Marina as John. Basically as a giant role reversal game. Randy starting to tea-bag, Adam ran around like a crazy caffeinated A.D.D. monkey, Daniel got buzzed for making Marina seem like a “air-head”, and so much craziness that happened that typed words just can not describe.

Ken and Randy started off Questions with a good run until Randy got excited and kicked his shoe into the audience. Ken got dinged for not asking a question, so Randy came back in to replace him after John and Ken had a bro-mance gone wrong. Soon followed by another player to help the scene with plenty of tango to drown Mars.

As our game selection method we’re playing a bit a beer pong with the audience. Cups with games and potential prizes have littered the floor and our audience is taking turns tossing in their ping pong balls.

We have a FREE T-SHIRT! Next, in Helping Hands, two audience members play the hands for Marina and Randy and proceeded to have a rather intimate relationship at Taco Bell. The other patrons didn’t seem so pleased that they were feeding each other chalupas though.

Our next cup contained a crowd favorite: Greatest Hits! Randy and an audience member are pushing an acapella compilation about shoelaces, starting with a heavy metal hit called Take Those Edible Laces Out of My Mouth. Then they switched to a sweet love song. “I wanna get inside your eyelets and wrap you around my tongue.” We got a little pop punk too, but the premiere track was some gangsta rap to kick this game all the way into the ghetto.

Oh man! We’ve got another game AND another prize! A free bumper sticker goes out to a lucky audience member, and everyone gets to enjoy a rousing round of Famous Last Words:

Evil Kinevil: “Braaaaaaaakes!”

Rooster: “Too much cock!”

Only Child: “Father, why has thou forsaken me?”

Slam dunk from an audience member scores our next game: Six Pack! I jumped on Randy’s team for that one and we had some great scenes about homelessness. “It’s better than an overpass!”

We had some more fabulous prizes, and next up is Good Cop, Bad Cop and in this case, an “eh cop” too. Daniel ripped off the “do not remove” tag on a mattress with the Virgin Mary on Space Mountain.

A long three pointer from the back row pulls Remake from the cup. John and Marina kicked sheep, and Randy contributed with “madness. crazy”. It got remade with a ton of jetskisand then with a little catastrophe as the wool got put on permanent press instead of delicate cycle.

Woah! Last ping pong ball knocks a bunch of cups over, but lands right in the middle bringing us Fortunately, Unfortunately. We’ve got a bee, who’s twin brother helps him out in the bedroom.

And now, for a moderate length intermission.

We’re back, but we’re not frat boys anymore…we’ve entered, The Twilight Zone. No wait, that’s not right. Oh yeah! We’ve started Sorority Saturday! Our lovely sorority FAM is Anna! Anna’s not in a sorority, so she’s doing some speculating for us as to what goes on behind those lacy wafting curtains of the sorority houses. Supposedly she’s heard about a lot of back stabbing and boyfriend stealing. In other news, members of her freshman class filled up the entire detox unit of Rhode Island General after some binge drinking. Also, the guys who live below her hit on her by banging on the roof of their apartment.

To sum up the awesomeness that is Anna, our cast is gonna play some Eight Pack. Well…this one you just kinda had to be here for, because I’m not sure how much of what just happened I can even post online. “I think I just crapped, threw up, cried, and bled on the inside…”

This next game doesn’t really have a name, it’s just fun. We’re gonna have a scene going on and everyone is going to have a cup. Our audience is going to throw ping pong balls at our cast during the scene in the hopes of landing some in the cups at which point that person will have to sing the last thing they were talking about. WOW! That was a little nuts. Cigarettes and the secrets of love were talked about at some point…but mostly a whole crap ton of balls all over the place.

Our next game is all about Ken. We’re gonna play some Highlander…IN REVERSE! Ken’s going to start a scene playing four different characters, and its up to the rest of our players to add people to the scene to cover the parts as its remade. The worker’s at this cheese factory are a little stressed out about their job and their crazy boss, but this game in reverse proves to be a lot more difficult than it looks. The boss turned into a swearing mess and cheeks the mouse got a little freaky.

Time to chop down some trees, well not really, but we’re still gonna bust out some Chainsaw action! Marina started us off with a drag queen, inside the womb, and a paper clip, but by the end of the round John thought it was a rapper, a hospital delivery room, and a cannon.

What better than a strip game on college night? Time for some Pavlovian Response. Each person has their own trigger like usual, but everyone’s response is to remove an article of clothing. John, Ken, Daniel and Adam are bearing all for our audience and you’re not here to see it! Ha ha…oh wait…I am…wow…

Definitely time for an intermission…

After a little sandstorm conga line we kick off our final quarter with Sports Commentator. The diaper changing championships are underway. John’s the referee and he’s tough but fair. Both players were disqualified from the competition, but fortunately for us, the commentating didn’t stop.

Next up is a twist on Say It Again. Instead of having to come up with a new line of dialog when they get dinged, Ken will provide the player with a new line when he hits the bell. A nice family outing turns into a battle of the kites. That was so much fun, we’ll do it again. This time Marina is going to do the dinging and put Ken on the spot. Mike and John are having a baby, and they don’t want Randy to know. “Hey, keep it down perfect strangers!”

As the night goes on, we wanna keep the energy up, so it’s time for some Try That On for Size! “Scoopin’ and squeezin'”. “Dancing in the eighties.” “Checking for tumors.”

Oh boy! Another twist! Up next is ShortKens. A game all about KEN!  We start off with Ken’s twisted home life, which includes a father who dies and come back as a zombie only to die again…and mom’s play toy Daryl who likes to dress like a Roman soldier.

What!? What!? Beastie Rap! Players vs. Playahs. What a battle it was. “All I need are words that end in ANKLIN.”

Next up is a battle of the FAMs, beer pong style. Bob and Anna are duking it out for the potential prizes in their respective pyramid schemes of solo cups. Anna clearly has had a lot more practice, but wait…a last minute comeback from Bob! With a clutch victory, Bob takes it and wins an official BYOI thong! As a nice gesture, Anna made a blind trade for the thong and Bob left with free BYOI shows for the month of November! Yay prizes!

Our honored FAMs have also won a special dinner with big time celebrity Ken Breese! Lots of Ken’s fans, stalkers, and even his mother and Daryl showed up to harass him during dinner.

If you’ve managed to actually read all this stuff, thank you for caring, or at least for taking the time to skip to the end of my post. This has been Frat Boy Friday/Sorority Saturday. See ya all soon! Hail Caesar!

And Scene!!!

Wednesday 10/13/10 show- YAY BYOI! WOO!

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101310famLovely night tonight guyz and galz! (Randy wants me to let you all know he ate some “tootie” fish tonight…guess what that means…) BIG NEWS! One of our regulars, Ray, just filled his punch card!! Free T-Shirt time? I think yes. Right as Dan started to recite RESPECT a huge audience walked in. Here comes, Beth! Jimmy! Adam! Derek! and Mike! and we’re ready to start the show.

Beth is warming us up by taking everyone on a journey down a coal mine and back…It’s fine…they’re being birthed again, oh no, not that road again…

FAM time: RAY whoohoooyayawesomegoodtimesyohza! He loves performing improv, tomorrow night 7:30 at Catch a Rising Star he’ll be performing stand up < hint hint, enjoys everything about comedy, hecklers? Yes.  A man told him he sucked once but it’s fiiiine he was joking. On a more serious note his main interest lies within his kids; Ryan, Lindsey,  and Hannah. Wear your new shirt with pride Ray, you earned it.

Let’s get this party started!

FAM 6 pack;  stole his roll, heckle, and don’t take things so seriously are the prompts and here we gooo. Everyone is so damn gullible, Mike has heckles all over his face and is drinking ‘jesus juice’. Separated conjoined twins aren’t really related and were sewn together at birth. awkward. Glass in fruit loops and muffins, no more prizes or chocolate chips.

Everything Emporium; or as I like to call it ‘errting emporiuhmmm’ Adam is the employee trying to figure out what everyone wants to buy which happen to be Glee nail clippers, a pillow that sings music, and a bump it that recites bible verses. Jimmy just has entered the safe semi circle to give look for something to help him look like Snooki, AND SCENE

Quickest Minute; 60 seconds, 30 seconds, 10 seconds done and done let’s do it! Jimmy and Ray will be reinventing Back to the Future…it was so fast, 88mph! 30 seconds, love interests, car rides, guitar waaaaaaaaah, and disappearing smoke effects. 10 seconds “heyyyyy”guitar. 2 seconds fs;ldgjejhrgkjdfngldngerg! ANOTHAH ROUND! Beth, Mike, and Mel are about to blow our minds with cyan fanny packs. so glamorous! Not fatty packs people, fanny packs.

Chainsaw; MY FAVORITE!! Occupation (girl scout), Location (thunder dome), and Object (home made flame thrower). Mike vs. Jimmy; epic. Jimmy vs. audience member; bang bang he’s dead. ITS FINE! audience member vs. Adam; all sorts of craziness, everything got combined. this. is. awesome. Adam vs. Ray; meditation on stage, and also grasshopper eating. Ray vs. Dan; sounds like a dead cat up in here, nope, just some more meditation. Let’s hear what everyone thought! bad ninja, buddhist temple, entire arsenal of weapons, karate expert, tea room,  weapons, karate trainer, ? , nunchucks, ninja, BAKERY, nunchucks, girl scout (WHOOOHOO!), ?, spray paint home flame thrower (WHOOHOOO!)

Hoedown; Easy bake oven hoedown…bum bum bum bum bum bum badada dum x3290840954

Intermission is happening right meow.

WE’RE BACK! Yes and…lesson of the night is taking place at a bus station. Try not to ignore your partners!

Grand Theft Auto; huge applause for a new audience member joining the scene! wowzers! First set of initials are RD (radical ducks: quack quack bomb) (Rhode Island Dbagz: how’s my hair?) (Rattyass Drag Queens: Francis walked over the hood again.) (Randy Davis: Randy, “Hi, I’m Randy Davis.) PAUSE AR are the new initials (Apple Rapists) (A Rumpelstiltskin: GUESS MY NAME) (Ambulance Rivers: waaahooowaaahooo) (About Rat?!) (African Rumpelstiltskin: enter Randy singing the Lion King) AND SCENE!

Serious Scene; Why? because we’re not just funny, we’re also very serious. This serious scene is about a summer Girl Scout camp. Kelly is sick again…

Back in my day: kids.advice.keyboards. sunshine.

Sportz Commentators: Preparing and eating breakfast…breakfast of champions. Table settings are being placed, eggs are being beaten, flap jack players are hot, they skip over middle steps and now they’re eating their breakfasts! INSTANT REPLAY! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, DING gravy time, more gravy? Belgium waffle portion?! California shimmy shakes?! Oh my goodness this is getting out of control! DING! Desert gravy?! Allergic reactions and Shakespeare.

Catch Phrase: “Does this make me look fat?” “Don’t go there.” and “What’s goodie ma?!” ” Move it buddy!” They’re in a country music club with a newly polished dance floor. a fight?! Nope, just a simple dance. LET’S DO IT AGAIN! “How you doin’?” “This is really really bad.” and “Shut up, it’s your fault I’m this way!” “Why does he look like that?!” intense statements and questions in the second round, time to see them make it work in a school cafeteria. Beth is coming off as a crazy person who likes to cry, Randy is picking on her, and Jimmy is trying to mediate the situation.

One more hoedown about medal…

Well, this has been an exciting night!  …l <AND SCENE!

BYOI – Friday 10/8/10

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100810famHey there BYOI fans and welcome to another installment of the BYOI Blog. Tonight we have Daniel, Randy, Mike, Mirina, Adam P. and John

FAM – Jimmy – From MA, carpenter, his last job was building a concrete wall, had a tribal tattoo covered with another tribal tattoo, his friends love to drink and party, met her girlfriend two months ago at a wedding.

The good the bad and the FAM – How do I wear my hair? set it on fire – shave your head. Should I go to grad school? no go to a trade school Should I call him first? Stalk him. call him right away. Where should I get a job? if you become an actor I will kill you.

Story Story Die – Huge house for huge kids ate everything covered in chocolate sauce pulled around by elephants.

Pavlovian responce – John Randy and our very own blogger Beth stepped up to play this fun game. Every time someone blinks their eyes, he has to move his body in a wavy motion. Whenever someone says the word “A”, Beth has to perform the “YMCA”. Now master-mind that he is, Randy has to fall on the ground and have a tandrum whenever someone raises their hands in the air. “You guys are a Grade A… a Grade A… okay, yu guys are a Grade B.”

Alphabet – Someday I will have my own place. Today should be that day – could you believe I paid $60 for this – Holy **** I’m eating a meatless hotdog

Everything Emporium – Spatula with a radio – candle causes blackouts – lawn mower that interrogates people – got anything that causes a roofies effect – things coming into it… frequencies – I’m no good at questions

Irish Drinking Songs – Toilet Paper, he likes to eat bunnies, it works well… on my little buddy

****INTERMISSION****

Yes and… – basement “you are also damp and moldy” Mirina and Mike walks us through entrances and exits

Hot Seat – Take this bus to Cuba – Want fries with that – I’m gonna be your barber – Your being audited – You gonna finish that – eat this – orange.

Centerpiece – Marina is the “monkey in the middle”, meanwhile door staff Beth has the prompt “Steph”, Daniel has “the 60’s, Mike has “nursing student”, and an audience member has “tattoos”. sticking things in your nose, juggling and dropping, lack of knowledge of sixties, not getting your @$$ pinched enough, and loss of money are only a few of the craziness that happened in this hilarious game.

____ walks into a bar – Carpenter / J. C. you again – Lumberjack / orders 4 pancakes 4 sausages… – Doctor / gimmy 12 martinies I have surgery in half an hour – iron / just trying to work out the wrinkles – turtle / we’re looking to get shredded

Serious Scene – they locked me in my locker – that’s just it son… life goes on – have you ever watched Glee – the girl part scares me – did you put a lot of eggs in this so I can get sick and not have to go to school tomorrow

Say it again – ‘moon shoes’ – I’m really just using her for the home entertainment center – I hated Barbara so much — ‘coffee’ I’ve got a small animal in my hand – I’ll put the coffee gerbil back on the wheel so he can brew up some coffee – put Franky the gerbil down your pants – watch out for the counter

Irish Drinking Song (part 2) – mind blank – oh yes croquet – he had a lot of moose – I think I drank too much I really have to wiz – let’s really sell it today!

***AND SCENE***

BYOI+Newport=10/7 Great Show!

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Kiana!

Super fun show last night in Newport folks! Our audience came in numbers (even if it was a small number) so just remember if you want to come to a Thursday show make sure to check out http://www.firehousetheater.org to reserve your tickets ASAP. Last night’s cast was made up of Adam, Daniel, Mike, Marina, Caesar, and Derek.

We started off the night with the help of our FAM, Kiana, by playing ‘The Good, the bad, and the FAMily.’ Our expert advise panel lined up to help our audience members with their issues, such as having a husband away on business, not knowing what to order for dinner, and how to survive a nasty divorce. Next up was ‘Story, Story, Die’ which was an odd mix of camping and Super Troopers. With the help of an audience member we played one of our new games ‘Everything Emporium’ where people were looking to buy travel agent gnomes, raindbow cell phones, and invisible cages. After that we transitioned into ‘Centerpiece’, with scenes about cooking goldfish, a broken mobile device, flying carpets, and a child who was obsessed with eating 5 of “her peas”. After all the fun and excitement we wrapped up the night by singing an irish drinking song about… wait for it…PARTYING! Come on, what else would a drinking song be about? Well that just about covers our show in a nutshell. Hope to see you all filling up our seats next week at the Firehouse Theater! TTFN, Ta Ta For Now . . .

Who Has Two Thumbs and Loves Improv?

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100610famI do!

Oh, hey there. So, it’s been awhile, but I haven’t forgotten about you. And neither has the rest of the awesome cast: Jon, Marina, Jimmy, Randy, Mike, and Daniel.

FAM! I want to be friends with Danielle, because she is possibly the nicest person on the planet. AND she likes honey barbecue wings. Wait a minute, she’s an English teacher, too?!? Okay, she just mentioned Shakespeare. I think I’m gonna faint. Oooh, and in a new FAM game, she gives GREAT advice. I’m lovin’ The Good, The Bad & The FAMily.

Oprah is the big bad in Story, Story Die. Her people are not gonna be happy about that. Jimmy wins! On to Pavlov and random acts of quirk. Jon is introducing Alphabet with some very combative back and forth, but it’s funny, so bring it on. Oooh, tonight we’re trying a familiar game with a twist, it’s Everything Emporium. And now we sing to end the half. Let’s be Irish and have a drink and propose to a woman at first sight.

Back! We’re Yes Anding into a lesson about entrances and exits. Ouch! My seat is hot. It burns, so give me an excuse why I should get up and I totally will. Jimmy is the Centerpiece. Four scenes are playing out in front of our eyes. Rich people thinking they’re poor! Crazy times! Pills, pills, pills! You know, I wish that lines at the DMV were as fun as our line games. Tonight Shakespeare, barbecue, and an English teacher walk in to our bar. WHOA. New game. Serious Scene. Getting laughed at gets you punished. Loves it. And we end the night with an almost all-cast round of Irish Drinking Song.

G’night, lovely people. Enjoy the possibility of nice weather this weekend.