Archive for September, 2011

BYOI – Ho, Ho, Ho… Not funny.

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Our FAM (That’s Featured Audience Member) at ImprovBoston tonight was Marie, a high school sophomore with a love of math and aspirations of writing fantasy novels.

We ran FAM Say It Again, involving a plumber (Joe) who aspires to write but is stuck fishing busts of DesCartes, Chuckie dolls and the ghost of bin Laden out of the kitchen drain of a chaos enthusiast (Me).

I warmed up the crowd with a little Audience Theremin.

Then it was time for Catch Phrase, where an audience member could only say “aw, dang” “where is the sunglass hut?” and all I could say was “when was this painted?” and “I don’t like you”. Joe led us through a scene about an animation studio with pandas.

Next it was time for Good Cop Bad Cop, in which Joe had to confess to killing the Jolly Green Giant with a baseball in the Death Star, based on rather forthright clues from an audience member and myself about “forcing” an answer out of him, and how he was lucky we didn’t just leave him in a “trench”.


Next up was the very funny Made Of Plastic with their True-ish Hollywood Story.

BYOI Tonight!

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Tonight, instead of anticipating the next blog post, come down to one of our shows!

Paul and Joe will be at ImprovBoston at 7pm. That’s in 33 minutes, so you might not make it in time.

So…you have no excuse, except for being really lame, to miss the Frat Party Friday/Sorority Saturday show at Perishible Theatre. It’s from 9pm until 2am, or until the cast passes out drunk…whichever comes first. It’s only $15, and it includes pizza AND Eric Dittelman, mind reader. Daniel, Erin, Krissy, Ed, Erich and Evan will be playing tonight, plus YOU.

You have time to get ready. Bring some drinks, or buy them next door. Bring a date. Maybe Eric will be able to read your dirty mind.

Be there, or just read about the epicness later.

BYOI – They Look Like W’s

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Last night’s family friendly show was attended by some of the Sunday regulars, and a few newbies. The show was hosted by Daniel, and Krissy, Ed, Joe and Paul rounded out the cast. Everyone, send happy thoughts to Erich; he had to skip the show because he’s injured.

The FAM of the night was Tej. He’s originally from India, wanted to be a doctor, hates liars, and his hero is his father.

Joe hosted FAM Centerpiece, while Daniel, Paul, Krissy and Ed played scenes about claims processing, doctors, hero (sandwiches), and politicians.

Krissy warmed up the audience with a barnyard chorus.

Audience members Tom and his daughter Carolyn joined the cast in Grand Theft Auto. A few of the hijackers were: knights from Mars, knitting monsters, kamikaze monkeys, and jiggling moles.

Next up, Krissy played the shrink in Marriage Counselor. Paul and Joe were a British couple who were having an issue with Joe’s love of jello. Paul would’ve been able to deal with Joe’s addiction to placebo pills, if it weren’t for his irrational fear of jello. They eventually decided to compromise with pudding.

Ed had fun ringing the bell in Say It Again. A troll family was enjoying a meal of dirt…no, granite…no, sediment.

Highlander was a blast with Daniel, Ed, Krissy and Tom. They did a scene about eating M&M’s. Ed thought they looked like W’s, while Tom was making a rainbow with them, with a pot of cheap white gold at the end. Daniel was freaking out, because he was an M&M. Krissy tried to make him feel better by eating with her back to him. After the eliminations, Tom had to reenact the entire scene alone.

After the break, Paul and Krissy tried scaring a porcupine into the yard in Yes and That’s How It’s Done.

Carolyn joined the cast in Quick Scenes.

Joe then hosted the Dating Game, marking Paul’s 736th appearance. Ed played Groucho Marx, Krissy was a coatrack, and Daniel was a renaissance faire enthusiast. Paul wanted someone who would make him laugh, so let’s hope Ed ended up being his true love.

The cast played Slogans, and came up with the following: “Astronauts: Now with nowhere to go.” (Daniel) and” Astronauts: Mooning America sine 1969.” (Ed).

The last full game of the night was an extended game of Freeze Tag. The cast played with Carolyn and Tom. Daniel slayed Krissy the unicorn, Rubix Cubes were solved, the men showed off their Hamlet skulls, the Pope’s body was carried, and lots of people were injured or killed. My favorite part was when someone mentioned the Pope’s body made it smell like yesterday’s Pope, which was one of the memorable lines from two weeks ago.

Finally, the night ended (awwww) with an Irish Drinking Song about a loving wife.

And scene!

I know I mentioned this in the last blog, but it’s super important. This Friday is the 9pm-2am Frat Party Friday Into Sorority Saturday show at Perishable. Tickets are $15, IDs will be checked, and pizza will be served. Don’t miss it!

BYOI – Holy Molestation, Batman!

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Hey there, improv fans! Tonight’s Perishable Theatre show was hosted by Erin. She explained RESPECT, while special guest Stephanie mimed from London on Skype. Stephanie is officially the coolest person ever, because it was 4am where she was. Krissy, Erich, Evan, Ed and Ryan rounded out the cast, while BYOI alum Marina made an appearance, as well as Daniel, our fearless leader.

Crystal was the evening’s FAM. She’s a cook at Qdoba, and also sells chocolate two doors down. She loves comic book movies, and her favorite superhero is Batman.

In What the FAM, Ryan tried to outrun the Batmobile naked, while Ed made love to The Batman.

After those disturbing images, Ryan warmed the audience up with a musical wave.

A very suggestive game of Alphabet featured guys selling hot dogs, a library, a funeral, and Evan lying by saying Burger King is tasty.

Erin changed up Good Cop/Bad Cop by being the lone cop interrogating the entire cast in a lineup. Ed ended up confessing to brushing his teeth with a sledgehammer with Rick Perry. He thought he could tweet dirty pictures of his “ding-a-ling” if he ended up visiting the White House.

Ryan had the statement, “Frogs are cool,” and the question, “Why do you have a duck?” in Catchphrase. Erin and Marina played with him in a scene at a football game. Marina’s statement was, “I need a man,” and her question was, “Where’s the beef?” Hilarity ensued.

In Quick Scenes, Ed and Ryan hooked up on a playground slide, Marina brought books on a camping trip, the Dewey Decimal System was conceived (“When a mommy letter and a daddy number like each other…”), and everyone had an orgy watching “Batman.”

After the break, Evan and Ryan played with tabacco flavored bandaids in Yes and That’s How It’s Done.

Erich rickrolled Krissy at the circus in Lines From a Cup, while Daniel and Erin attacked zombies with a lamp and Erin found out Daniel only likes her as a friend.

The occupation of stripper was guess correctly by everyone in Chainsaw. Evan ended up getting very physical with Ryan to demonstrate. The location of amusement park was almost picked by everyone, while a crayon turned into chalk and scented markers.

Erin hosted Blank Walks Into a Bar. Some great lines: “Batman walks into a bar mitzvah and says, ‘I need a BAT mitzvah.'” (Ed); “Nelson Mandela walks into a bar and the bartender goes, ‘Morgan Freeman?'” (Evan); “A duck walks into a bar and screams, ‘Aflac!!'” (Erich); and “William Shatner walks into a bar but 20 years later, Patrick Stewart does it better.” (Ed)

In Freeze Tag, the cast did scenes about claiming a house for Finland, giant phallic Q-tips, hanging from a powerline, and pulling out tapeworm.

Finally, the cast sang about–you’ll never guess–Batman–in Hoe Down.

And scene!

Don’t forget to join us next Friday night from 9pm-2am for the special Frat Party Friday Into Sorority Saturday Show!

BYOI – Where Did Poe Go?

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Featured Audience Member Andrew (Sep 23, 2011)

Our Featured Audience Member tonight was Andrew, a talented multi-instrumentalist, who’s been playing drums since the age of two. The person he said he admired most is Jimi Hendrix, and his nemesis is a fictional person with the celebrity name “John Mayer”.

Our cast tonight was Ken, Ed, Liz, Ali & Myself.

Ken and our Featured Audience Member, Andrew, wrote a novel about a 2 year old drum prodigy on Mars who met 2 funk-dancing Martians and a honey-seeking robot acted out by Liz, Ali, Ed & I.

I warmed up the audience with a little audience theremin action.

The Quickest Minute featured a story about a misguided frat boy (Ali) who mistakes an unconscious, but otherwise angry Scotsman for sleeping beauty, and his buddies (Ed and Myself) who try to keep him out of trouble.

Liz ran the Everything Emporium, where Ed wanted a musical pogo stick, Ken needed mathematical bathroom tissue and an audience member was looking for a toothbrush that styles short hairs.

Finally, the whole cast and two audience members ran scenes rooted in alphabetical dialog, including awkward roommates.

Taking the stage after BYOI was the very funny Reckless Abandon, covering the life of the real inventor of that social media phenomenon.


BYOI – Helen Keller… The Blind Musician

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So here we are at the Warwick Museum or Art and we have a great crowd tonight!  Joe starts us off with RESPECT and our cast of Evan, Krissy, Paul and Erich.  Our FAM tonight is Zach.  He is a music and chemistry major, plays piano, would write a musical about Charlie Sheen, loves to walk his dog and  wants to be a zoo keeper.

We start off with Try That on for Size where we pet gnomes in order of height and winning!  Then Erich warms us up with a little “rock you”, using your keys.  In Short Cutz we learned that you should not be late to computer club and don’t sell medical supplies in clown costume.  Next in Good Cop, Bad Cop, Paul plucking chickens in a hospital with Betty White.  In Angels and Demons fried Aardvark is a delicacy.  In Helping Hands  watch out for Sushi masters, they actually learn more than they teach.


Krissy and Erich taught us what to do with tools we never thought of.    In Post It, we found where Mom keeps her stockings and watch out when customers come running.  In Timmy in the Well, Ray Charles got a speeding ticket in Amish Country.  “A Blind Musician… Helen Keller?” In Famous Last Words where the last words of a Cop would be, “Hey, it’s still a sick during the day.”  In Six Pack it is obvious that grass should cover the black whole for the flamingos.  Finally in Greatest Hits we got some great songs about being a waiter!

And Scene!

BYOI – The Angry FBI Agent!

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We were in Boston tonight for another show at ImprovBoston!  We have Ken, Paul, Ed and Myself.  Plus our two auditioners Nate and Eric.  Our FAM tonight was Kevin.  He loves first person shooters, wants to be an FBI agent, like Lincoln, hates his best friend and Obama… “but it’s not a racist thing.”

We start off with Sing it where showdown’s against Lincoln and Obama ends up not being a great video game idea and the FBI can do amazing things with just there fingers.  Ken warmed us up with musical laughs and giggles and onto Highlander where one SAT test will keep you out of Clown college… but it is not a racist thing.  In the Dating game, Nate had to choose from Tom Cruise, a plunger and a hypochondriac.  Then six pack showed us to love your brother, but don’t lick the frog.

After us was a fabulous round by Rebels Without Applause!

And scene!

BYOI – Detroit: The Happiest Place on Earth?

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Hello blog readers! We had a bunch of newcomers at the Sunday Family Friendly show, including Aidan, a little girl masquerading as a tiger. The men of BYOI were the entertainers for the evening: Ryan, Erich, Ed, Evan, Paul and the show’s host, Daniel. Don’t worry, Joe wasn’t left out; he came as an audience member and participated in a few games.

Birthday girl Dinu was the Featured Audience Member of the night. She was a good sport while the guys asked her random questions, such as: If you could erase one professional sport from Earth, what would it be? (She answered hockey), and You have chocolate cake and a puppy. You must pick one, and something bad will happen to the other one. What will you choose? (Dinu picked the puppy. Such a nice FAM!)

The first game of the night was Tableau.  While the cast was petting a puppy, Ed was the sun. With MacGuyver, Ed was the guest star love interest, while Paul was a bent paper clip.

Evan then warmed up the crowd. Everyone imagined they were in the happiest place on Earth. I know you’re thinking it was Disneyland…or your bed…or the beach. No, the happiest place on Earth is actually Detroit! Evan led the audience running through Detroit for jobs. After everyone fought over paperwork, struck a pose and were hired, they jumped for joy.

FAM Dinu’s friend joined Erich and Daniel for Sit, Stand, Lie Down. The guys were waiting for a pizza delivery and ended up getting Chinese from a random delivery guy.

Paul was 20 minutes late for work in Excuses, Excuses.  Ed was the boss pressuring him for an explanation, while Evan, Daniel and Ryan mimed the actions in the background. You know what the most impressive part was? After Paul’s alarm didn’t go off, he hit a homeless guy and then was kidnapped by said homeless guy,  he still made it in only 20 minutes late. I need to learn how to do that at my day job.

Ryan wrote a book called “The Tourist” about Erich’s wife, Renee, in Typewriter. The cast played with audience member Aidan, who played a tiger in the zoo. In Chapter 1, Evan played Renee, who was given a tiger. This tiger was special, because she had the cutest little meows. Obviously, that meant she was a genetically engineered tiger/kitten hybrid. In Chapter 2, Ed joined in as Renee’s best friend, Inga. They were touring the lab that made tiger/kitten hybrids. Paul jumped in as Inga’s husband to give the tiger cream and milk. The story ended with Inga’s husband and the tiger playing at Navy Pier in Chicago. Say it with me now, “Awwwww!”

Joe joined the cast for Freeze Tag. Daniel and Ed were playing darts with their feet; Ryan wanted to go to the real happiest place on Earth, Disneyland; Erich was a lawn flamingo with Evan as a “weird running gnome”; and Daniel and Erich were hoarding milk and bread because of an impending storm.

After the break, Ed and Evan did a quick scene about the Post Master General selling Barack Obama a stamp with his likeness in Yes and That’s How It’s Done.

Daniel was the director in Serious Scene, which included Joe and an audience member, also named Joe. The guys were reminiscing at the funeral of a beloved teacher. They remembered when she directed the school play, “Cats,” with midgets; detention; and only knowing her for one day. They also wondered why she always threw apples away. The teacher ended up rising from the coffin to yell that she always hated apples.

Ed played Paula Deen in Press Conference. Daniel, Evan and audience member Russell were the members of the press interviewing about a ferris wheel presentation.

Back In My Day, there was no Kermit the Frog. Ed said it was even harder being green. There was also no Brady Bunch, so Ryan said there were no stories of lovely ladies, and Erich said Alice was good looking. There were no crackers, so Erich said Polly wanted a biscuit. Finally, there were no rubber bands for Joe, who said lobsters nearly ruled the world.

Ryan and Erich played Pillars with two audience members providing the random madlibs. The guys were working on the sun attracting cheetahs with a sign made of mustaches. Next, Daniel and Evan were trying to start a car and arguing about who should be able to date Sally.

Finally, Paul introduced the final game, Do Run. The guys sang beautifully about meeting people named Bill, Kim, and Sarah, among others.

And scene!

It’s Wedding Bells for BYOI!

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Not something we expected, BYOI performed at a wedding today!  That’s right Joe, Erich, Ed and I performed and Kevin and Wendy’s wedding reception and ended their day with a bang!

Kevin and Wendy were just married today and looking forward to their honeymoon in Maine.  Kevin hates it when Wendy leaves towels on the bed, and she hates it when he leaves hair in the sink.  She loves his smile and he thinks she is kind and wonderful.

In the first scene we see what tomorrow will look like in the hotel room in Maine, but they brought their daughter with them, “the only thing in Maine is trees, mountains and this hotel… And moose.”  In Party Quirks, a Marine, Hitchcock and a man who needs to say purple when anyone itches all were at Kevin’s bachelor party last night.  There was a Moose… still in The Quickest Minute.  What Are You Doing?…. golf!  In Catch Phrase Erich and one of the guests we on a tour of a volcano.  “What’s in the Box?”, “Go find out.” (Pushed into Volcano. “What the heck!”  In Freeze Tag Kevin and Wendy’s daughter found out she is paying for the wedding.  And Finally, a Hoedown about balding… “Shaving hair everywhere!”

Congratulations to the lucky couple.  Many happy years ahead of them!

And Scene!

BYOI – Safe Travels, Stephanie!

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Last night’s show was EPIC, and if you missed it, you’re lame.  Stephanie is going to London for a year and we’ll miss her terribly, so the cast had a going away show for her.  Daniel was the host for the evening, and Krissy, Paul, Ed and Erich joined him and Stephanie. Joe came as an audience member, as well as BYOI alumni Mike Amaral and Dan Wood.

The Featured Audience Member of the evening was Karam, and Stephanie did a happy dance to celebrate. Karam is a pharmacy technician, who “deals with old cranky people.” He’s a fan of True Blood, and the movie of his life would be called My Wonderful Me, because he’s awesome. Because the night was about Stephanie, Karam had to tell everyone an embarrassing Stephanie moment. He told everyone about the time they were at TGI Friday’s singing “Feliz Navidad” and they fell over drunk.

Centerpiece started off the night’s games, with Stephanie as the centerpiece. Daniel was driving–and getting into accidents–with her in London; Krissy was crazy Tom Cruise; Ed was talking about Veronica’s Closet and Brooke Shields; and Erich was taking Oxycodone…or was he? Erich’s “Let’s try some of this Oxyclean” was followed by “So…when are you gonna rape me?” were some of the classic lines of the game.

Krissy warmed the crowd up, getting everyone to cheer for Stephanie’s favorite things: Soccer, boys, and theater. Anytime those three things were mentioned throughout the night, everyone had to cheer.

My favorite game, Chainsaw, was a blast, and full of death, as always. Erich started off as a freelance horticulturalist in a coffee shop with a spatula. Stephanie–in record time–thought he was Thomas Jefferson or a judge in an ice cream shop, and it went crazy from there. Joe also thought of a lawyer in Ben & Jerry’s, and the two of them were the only ones to get the spatula right. Paul guessed bailiff “where the good peanut butter is kept” and a griddle. Ed guessed Supreme Court Chief Justice in “my dog’s balls” and kitchen stuff. Audience member Nick finished the game with a President, in a park with a fryer.

Growing and Shrinking started off with Erich, then gradually added Daniel, Stephanie, Krissy, Ed and Paul, before removing each of them from the scenes. Memorable scenes were Daniel and Erich getting married, Krissy hurting her leg at the fair, vampires on the subway, and Paul as a pharmacist trying to deal with a crowd of elderly customers…except for Ed, who was wandering around.

A farm-themed Questions featured cows, cows, and…angry cows. Daniel asked, “Does that mean I’m a kidnapped kid from Florida?”, Krissy asked Erich, “Do you speak English?” and his response was, “Do I speak English?”

Highlander was awesome played in reverse. Stephanie started off playing all 4 characters in a family: Angry dad, calm mom, a 12 year old still in diapers, and a jealous older sibling. Dad was angry about spending $2,000 each month on diapers, and told the 12 year old, “You have to learn how to wipe your own ass!” Mike jumped in and reminded Stephanie that the child’s name is “Bobby. You established it earlier.” During a fight about Playstation use, Stephanie reminded Krissy, that she didn’t used the Playstation 900 times, and that “That’s a hyperbole, which means, really large exaggeration.” Oh, we’ll miss Stephanie and her English lessons. Erich ended the game as the 12 year old rolling around and wiping his poop on his sister’s pony.

Stephanie told the audience about the time she had to learn guitar for Curtain Call, and then Dan Wood, Mike and Joe joined the entire cast in the game, with audience member Nick on guitar. Songs were about snowboarding, weight loss, peeing in public, transvestites, and silence…which had Paul, Daniel, Dan standing in silence, while Erich danced in silence.

After the break, the entire cast gave a lesson about staying in rhythm in Yes and That’s How It’s Done.

Krissy introduced Remake, and film named “The Moist Noodle.” Stephanie and the FAM played as a girl and her pool boy, Fernando. The pool boy wasn’t interested in her, even though she’d been “doing the starving model pose for you every day!”  Joe and Ed remade it as a film noir about bribes. Daniel and Paul remade it again as a musical, with Paul singing, “When are you going to share your wet noodle with me?!”

Daniel and Stephanie debuted the new game Madame Zelda. In this game, a fortune teller has to tell her client’s future based on what people are miming in the background. Daniel was a circus clown who was going to get pregnant, then get hit by a car, and finally, get climb Mount Everest. Erich, Krissy and an audience member did a great job as the mimes. When Krissy was being hit by a car, Stephanie originally guessed, “You are going to back into a skinny white girl. She may be a vampire; she’s very pale.”

Paul introduced Eight Pack, as “Six Pack plus two.” Daniel and Dan were tour guides; Paul and Krissy were on a game show; Stephanie and an audience member where getting lemonade; Ed and Erich were Mongolian warriors. After a mention of The Wrath of Khan, Stephanie was on her knees yelling, “Khan!!!… I have a glass of lemonade?” and Ed and Erich taught everyone the old saying, “You rape and pillage, I kill and maim.”

Everyone ate fortune cookies for Lines From a Cookie. Stephanie couldn’t eat her cookies, so FAM Karam ate them for her. The game started off with a cake for grandma to make her appetizing to bears and ended with Stephanie getting ready to leave for England. In between, Stephanie had a second birthday party because she could never have enough parties. Paul brought in Daniel as a donkey for Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and Krissy brought robot Ed.

The extended show ended with Guidance Counselor, which Ed announced was going to be played in song.  Stephanie was the guidance counselor, who hated her job.  Paul’s problem was his nasty UTI. He sang, “When I try to pee, it’s kind of tough.” Stephanie referred him to the school nurse, Mrs. Crotch.  Krissy couldn’t sleep because she lost her copy of Goodnight Moon, so she was told to write her own bedtime story. Daniel couldn’t sleep because he stole his sister’s book. In the best improv song ever, Stephanie told him to count shiny things, which should then inspire him to buy her shiny things.

And scene!