Archive for November, 2011

BYOI – That’s My Waffle Iron!

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It was a fun night at the Warwick Museum of Art for out family friendly show. Paul was our host, and he was joined by Joe, Krissy, Erich and Daniel.

The FAM was Courtney. She ‘s a 10th grader in Woonsocket, and a waitress at her family’s restaurant. She likes history, isn’t a fan of math, and would like to go to France. She loves play Guitar Hero, to the chagrin of Daniel.

In FAM Meanwhile, Krissy tried teaching Joe to dance, the guys ate stale baguettes, and a huntsman went to the hospital.

Paul warmed up the audience with his human theramin routine.

Audience members Seb and Ethan joined the cast for Tableau. In the Christmas scene, the boys were the kids who stepped on an ornament and then cried over it breaking. On a trip to France, Daniel was the unused plane ticket and Joe was the chair at the aiport gate. Finally, in the forensic sculpting scene, Erich was a lump of clay and Krissy was Patrick Swayze from “Ghost.”

Daniel directed “The Chopped Down Christmas Tree” in Remake, which starred the cast, Seb and Ethan. A tree was being chopped down on Joe’s lawn, which made the bird who lived in it pretty angry. In the horror version, Paul enjoyed maniacal laughter while using his axe covered in tree blood. In the Australian football remake, the tree was cut down by a boomerang.

Joe and Seb were Sports Commentators covering a washing competition. Erich and his sister Julie were competing for the prize. After separating colors, Julie received a shrinking penalty. The competition ended when Erich stuffed his sister in the washing machine.

Daniel and audience member Derek were Justin Bieber and Vincent Van Gogh in New Born. They were the proud parents of baby Cottage Cheese. They were helped out by audience members Derek and Ashby.

After the break, Erich and Krissy had a silent bar mitzvah in Yes And…

Joe was called for help in Timmy in the Well. Krissy, Erich and Ethan were the frantic Lassies trying to explain that George Washington spilled soda in his lap at IHOP.

The audience came up with some fun suggestions for the cast and audience member Tim to play in Post It. Some fun combinations were cupcake/lawyer, pirate/Congress, cop/Kevins Spacey’s basement, and football/Provincetown.

Krissy, Ashby and Erich gave advice in the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Dan and Paul acted out the scenes about Black Friday (use mace, a billy club and wear Depends) and losing weight (get divorced).

The cast and audience member Andrea played Sit, Stand, Lie Down, featuring contagious cat allergies and stomach pains.

Derek and Tim were Pillars for the cast. A Christmas tree was bought online and decorated with cutlery, Daniel and Erich demonstrated the dance move “The Spoon” and Krissy took elf classes.

The final game of the night was Hoe Down. The first song was about Guitar Hero, and Joe ended the second song about the Muppets in Animal’s voice.

And scene!

BYOI – Black Friday and the Return of John!

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It was a great Black Friday show down at Perishable. Daniel was our host, joined by Krissy, Erich, Paul and John. Yes, you read that right…John Ring is back!

We started off the night by picking the FAM. Kyle lives in Manhattan and works for Morgan Stanley. It’s a thankless job, based on the state of the world right now. He likes the Pats, and would like to have super strength…for evil! He told us a fun story about a friend who broke the toilet and used a coffee table and clothes to clean up the water.

In FAM Growing and Shrinking Machine, super strength messed up the feng shui of a room, and the Seinfeld cast showed up.

John warmed up the audience by shaking them through Shake Eights.

Daniel and audience member Nate were Movie Critics in “Up Late With Two Dudes” reviewing the awesome film “Bro Nap.” The film was about Paul the narcoleptic and his friend Erich. It was a great story of brotherhood, loyalty and death. Nate gave it 5 Cheeseburgers.

John played Marriage Counselor to Erich and audience member Crystal. Crystal was afraid of toasters and Erich couldn’t stop cutting the grass. Together, they couldn’t sit normal in any chairs.

In everyone’s favorite game, Rope, the Pope stopped calling. Erich was the only one to not get “roped.”

Krissy hosted Remake for the classic film “The Soft Television.” Paul and BYOI alum Mike were buying a tv on Black Friday and had to choose between soft, spiky and hot tvs. Later, John and audience member Shawn redid it as a great romance. Finally, Daniel and Paul redid it as a martial arts film. Paul was hilariously subtitled.

After the break, Erich and John played silent bowling in Yes And…

Krissy and Mike were at a travel agency in Lines From a Cup. Krissy’s boyfriend was paying for a trip because he’s better than bacon. Later, Paul and John were buying football tickets with Daniel.

In Press Conference, Erich was interviewed by reporters Krissy, Daniel and Nate. He was Gandalf starting up a microbrewery.

In Story, Story, Die, Nate joined the cast in a story of a person named Like Makeup. Like Makeup went to the park to get makeup to cover his or her gall bladder removal scar. He or she then went on a clown killing spree. Paul and John won the game, and sometimes had to simultaneously tell the story.

Crystal and Shawn were Pillars for the cast. Hot buns, a bakery called Volcano Con Queso, and a super heroic guy who turned into a super heroic girl were part of the game. Erich bought a hen instead of a turducken because the multiple heads of the turducken were attached and creepy.

Finally, Daniel was the Guidance Counselor with Paul in guitar. Krissy had just found out Santa isn’t real, Erich was a blind guy attracted to a teacher who “feels really cute” and John was getting divorced.

And scene!

BYOI – The Life Coach

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We are in Boston on this Black Friday with Ryan, Paul and Myself and performing with Aeropuerto!  Our FAM tonight was Shannon, a life coach who enjoys yoga and exercise.

In FAM Pillars Shannon gave us all the lines to create scenes about s#*t pizza and coaching a couple to not do each others work by using the a#$ technique.  Then Ryan warmed us up by forcing us to do the opposite.  In Good Cop, Bad Cop you need to watch out that I might not light a camel on fire with the Michelin Man and a turkey baster.  Try That on for Size found some of Aeropuerto in some compromising positions and Slogans gave us a new one for Life Coaching, “Tell a perfect stranger your problems… and pay them for it.”  Finally wrapping up with a game of Sit, Stand and Lie Down where we learned a new gang stance.

And Scene!

BYOI – A “Solid 7” Birthday

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Good evening, everyone! We had a large crowd tonight at the Warwick Museum of Art. Erich was our glorious host, and he was joined by Daniel, Paul and Krissy.

Our very special FAM was Mikael, aka Mike. Why is he special? Because today is his birthday! Mike works at Iggy’s Chowderhouse and is a student at CCRI. He pretty much loves everyone, and after some prodding, admitted to not liking his 10th grade biology teacher. Mike would love to spend a day with the Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore, because he’s fascinated by the weather. Someday, Mike will make a very smiley meteorologist.

Paul played Mike in Day in the Life. Erich played Jim Cantore, who decided to surprised Mike with a visit. It seems Mike had been sending Jim incessant fanmail and including doughboys from Iggy’s. Mike was given a lesson in how to do TV weather, before getting offered a job as Jim’s replacement on the Weather Channel. Unfortunately, improvisation is important during weather reports, and Mike was fired when puppies were thrown at him. He was supposed to say it was raining cats and dogs. Oh well. Maybe Mike can work for a local station instead.

Daniel warmed up the audience by taking them shopping for Thanksgiving. Next, they all prepared their feasts and yelled what they were thankful for.

Audience member Carolyn joined the cast for What Are You Doing. A few highlights: making turkey for Africa, failing biology, eating popcorn, living at home with parents, and chasing storms.

Paul, Krissy and audience member Karen helped Daniel, Carolyn and Erich, respectively, in Helping Hands. It all started with an Arctic soccer game being played on Daniel’s lawn, and ended up with Carolyn owning the entire world. Something happened with contracts, and I learned that I should’ve paid more attention to my contract law class in college.

Audience member Tom was the all powerful Madame Zelda, with his helpful spirits Krissy, Paul and Erich. Daniel was told he was going to grow hair, get divorced from a tornado, and achieve his lifelong goal of living like a homeless person in the world’s biggest box.

In Highlander, Erich and Paul were joined by audience members Josh and Brandon. The improv guys were playing a 9 ball pool game against the very quiet audience members, and the winner would get to play a 16 ball game. Erich cheated with a pool stick that had 9 tips. In a surprise upset, Brandon beat everyone, and was the winner. Thankfully, he found his voice and performed the entire scene alone pretty awesomely.

After the break, Daniel and Krissy gave a lesson in knowing each other and Yes And…

Angel Krissy and Demon audience member Mark told the story of Brandon and Paul. They had a computer, but it unfortunately had no internet. It had a mouse, but the mouse was rabid. At some point, Daniel and Erich broke in.

Pavlov was played by Paul in Pavlovian Response. Audience member Connor had to scream if someone said, “because,” while Erich had to yell, “Cheese! Melted cheese!” if someone put their hands in their pockets, and Paul had to cry at any mention of Mexican food.

Krissy hosted Slogans, and the cast was joined by audience members Brandon, Marbeth and Jessica. Some highlights: “Milk: An udder disgrace.” (Erich), “Toothpaste: Now in England.” (Daniel), “Christopher Walken: Well, that was creepy!” (Paul), “Birthdays: Happy birthday, you’re almost dead.” (Erich), and “Iggy’s Doughboys: Our chowder is average.” (Jessica).

Meanwhile…Tom and Carolyn joined the cast. They made cds, picked out workout music, and participated in a lineup. Carolyn seemed to have a blast in this game!

For the final game of the night (awwww!), Paul jumped on guitar and FAM Mike helped out with Greatest Hits. Daniel sang about a teacher with an attitude, Erich sang about being happy, and Krissy sang about a girl named Josie. The final song was a duet between Daniel and Krissy, with Krissy being called “plain and normal, a solid 7.”

Don’t forget to join us this Friday at Perishable Theatre in Providence for our second to last Friday show of the season. Happy birthday to our FAM, and have a great Thanksgiving!

And scene!

BYOI – It’s Ben!!!

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Tonights show at IB was full of twists and surprises at every turn. With us tonight was Paul, Daniel, Liz, Anthea and myself. Our FAM member was Dan, a physical therapist and video gamer who is best pals with Ben.

Things kicked off with a PBS telethon raising funds by screening a movie based on his life. In it, we witnessed the heart-wrenching decision between cadaver massages, video games and dead hookers. We also saw the most elaborate, and creepy, practical joke of all time… don’t trust old smoking women on the train, they’re probably Ben.

From there we played the dating game. Liz, the depressed goth with the black soul, had to choose between three very eligible bachelors: an arsonist, a library book and Kurt Cobain. We’d like to wish Liz and her handsome library book a happy life together.

The show ended with a spirited game of Say It Again. In it, we saw the evils of NPR and we revisited the world of Dan, the Physical Therapist. Although Ben did not make a personal appearance, he was there in spirit.

And Scene!

BYOI – Please, No More Elmo Voice!

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Hey all, you missed a great Sunday show. Daniel was the host, and he was joined by Oscar, Joe, Paul and Erich. While Erich was accidentally called “Ed” at one point, Ed wasn’t there.

The guys started off by picking the FAM, Shashawna. She’s in the 10th grade, likes chemistry but hates english. She’d like to have a pet chinchilla and likes Rapunzel’s chameleon. Her name is not Sally.

Shashawna was the centerpiece in FAM Centerpiece. Daniel and Paul joined her in a foreign language play. Paul and Oscar were debating about bananas and furbys. Oscar and Joe painted abstract trees, and finally, Joe and Daniel were cool kids. Literally. They were cold.

Oscar warmed the audience up with an ad libbed story.

BYOI alum Mike joined the cast for Alphabet. Daniel and Joe made it through the entire alphabet on their knees as Munchins in Oz. Other scenes were about legos, chocolate, and trying to set the world record in jumproping…except no one was watching.

Erich started tuning a piano in Growing and Shrinking Machine. He was joined by the cast, the FAM and audience members Tom and Carolyn, before everyone left him alone. We learned that in jail, the three meals are breakfast, lunch and cat litter, line dancing shouldn’t have fist pumping and washing hair in a group while clothed is awkward.

In Party Quirks, Erich had a party. He invited his strange friends and served them cheese. Oscar was Rapunzel, Paul was a bouncing rolling pin, and Daniel was infested with ticks.

The guys and Mike played Freeze Tag with audience members Carolyn and Zac before the break. Kids were in the fridge, Erich invented the chin chiller, a diva golfer had 3 caddies, and Oscar the lawn gnome patrolled the lawn to make sure plastic flamingos were behaving.

Joe and Oscar gave a lesson in loaded questions in Yes And…

Lines From a Cup was the first game after the break. Paul and Oscar were going to a Neil Diamond concert, although they weren’t fans. Next, Daniel was audience member Kate’s devoted friend. He was the lone attendee of her baby shower, which featured tons of taquitos, until Joe showed up.

Audience member Bill was the witness of a horrible crime in Interrogation Lineup. Cutting hair in a supermarket with Molly Ringwald is bad guys, so don’t do it.

We left the police station and then he guys played Famous Last Words with Mike and Carolyn. Here are some last words of: Camp counselor-“Bear? What bear?” (Mike); 10th grader-“Seniors suck!” (Erich); accountant-“Sure, I’ll take on the Greek economy.” (Daniel).

Highlander was a bunch of fun to watch. Parents were eating breakfast while siblings fought. The cuteness scale was discussed, and the son ended up in trouble. Thankfully, while he wasn’t the cute sibling, he wasn’t stupid. He remembered to say the line his parents tell him: “Be good or I’ll go to the moon.” Tom and Oscar were eliminated first. The final two were Joe and Carolyn. Joe ended up having to do the entire scene alone, and he succeeded in a crazy, manic performance.

The final game of the night was Do Run. The guys sang about the rise and fall of Bob. He started inspired by a cookbook, became a chef, poisoned his diners, and now drives a bus. Poor Bob.

Don’t forget to join us again next Sunday. Same time, same place.

And scene!

BYOI – For the Stripper in Us All

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Our Friday Night FAM for 11/11/11!The November 11th show at Perishable right away got it’s groove on…meaning we had to move up to the dance studio. Four flights of stairs! With chairs! And MORE chairs! Carried by Ed, Erin, Paul, Daniel, Erich, and myself (Ryan).

This weeks FAM in Providence was Jason, who was interested in the development of renewable energy, meaning one day the world will get to see Electric Boogaloo III: Renewed! Or we’ll get to use electricity like library books: borrow it, forget we have it, and then pay out the bum when we return it. He also likes teleporting and hates obese turtles. The team used this info to play a bit of What the FAM, followed by Erich channeling Queen for the warm-up.

Ed was our Centerpiece in a fun group of scenes, which included some “goat” homicide, plumbing, and an ape at a wedding. Wait, no, that was Ed’s Wednesday night. Centerpiece was much more mundane and normal. Honest.

Paul got caught up in a love triangle with Dan and a guest audience member during Catch Phrase. Although Dan claimed he didn’t have sex with that woman a lot, there was some tension about a shoe box. Not to mention how big it was. Thankfully it essentially ended in a three-way, like most love triangles do. Wouldn’t want to upset the norm of society, now would we?

I’m happy to say that I had a baby! Yup, me, the giant tree, and my lovely wife Casey Anthony gave birth to a darling Clint Eastwood. 38 lbs, -7 ounces.

I’d like to talk about Six Pack, but it might upset Erin. There were a lot of poop jokes involved, and she wouldn’t like that. Email Erin to complain for your lack of details.

Ed and Erich played a little Helping Hands, although later they were joined by myself and Dan. I was going to sell Ed and his guest audience member a hot dog, but it ended with slapping and death. But that’s OK, because we all had another person’s hands. And that made it funny! And when it’s funny, it’s legal!

We were going to play Good Cop, Bad Cop, but our volunteer decided to play Good Cop, Batman instead. I think Dan will never put his ice cream in his back pocket during spring break ever again. I know I wouldn’t want to mess with that guy.

We all then played some Blank Walks Into a Bar. We all learned that laughs and uncomfortable silences don’t exactly make a great comedy duo. Who would have thought?

We then had a Growing & Shrinking scene. It started with Dan having jump rope problems, and it ended with me being a complete diva. But then again, most of my scenes end that way. I’m working on it, people.

We ended the night by all of us singing some Curtain Call. Sorry, let me rephrase that. Most of us sang Curtain Call, and then eventually others decided to play with the rest of the group. I don’t want to name any Erins, so let’s just keep it at that.

And…scene!

BYOI – Yes Penn State… we went there!

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It got down and dirty with BYOI at IB tonight.  First up was Active Ingedents where I heard that babies were a flying!  Then BYOI hit the stage with Liz, Ken, Nate and Myself!  Our FAM tonight was Barbi.  She studies sexy languages, works as a personal trainer and wants to be Kermit the Frog.

We start things off with Meanwhile where Kermit has just gone to the naked gym, but it’s OK to shower at Penn State, although someone needs management classes on how to treat gonadal drivers.  Next in Chainsaw, a firefighter in a Walmart with a peanut became a dancer, in a baseball field with a bat.  Slogans gave us new winners for Oklahoma and Ferris Wheels among-st other things. And we finished off with Revolver where 50% off is a bad deal and Spanish accents go away when you shave with Mr. Clean.

And Scene!

BYOI – Please Turn on The Heat

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The weather was cold but the laughs were hot this Sunday at the Warwick Museum of Art. Our FAM for the night was Caitlin, a medical secretary who loves chicken parm and Bing Crosby, but hates someone named “Schwenny Lartz.”

Our first game of the night was a FAM-centric version of “Try That on for Size,” which had Ryan and Evan making chicken parm sandwiches and answering Zen riddles, while Paul had no idea how to use his GPS and Ed was a little tea cup.

Krissy gave us all a much-needed warm up that had us all making farm animal noises, and then it was on to Alphabet. Audience member Kevin joined Paul in a scene based on Medical Secretaries, Evan hated Xenophobia, and Ed and Ryan argued about ComicCon.

Angels & Demons had Krissy and Kevin telling a tale about Joe and audience member Caroline, who had trouble with a claw machine . Joe got stuck in the machine, but thankfully he was bald, so he was okay.

Ryan and Kevin were having problems with their marriage and decided to get some help from Paul in Marriage Counselor. Ryan couldn’t stop making animal balloons, but Kevin hated the noises balloons make. Paul helped them resolve their differences, and got them over their crippling helium addictions.

The first half wrapped up with Sit, Stand & Lie Down, where Evan, Ed, and Caroline were having issues with their hygiene. Caroline lost one of her teeth, but luckily found one on the floor.

After the intermission, Krissy and Paul showed us how to stick with an emotion in Yes And, and then it was time for Catch Phrase. Evan attempted to train Krissy and audience member Joe for their new jobs at Walmart, but Krissy kept pointing out that things were facing the wrong way, while Joe had been scarred by his experiences in Warwick.

Next up was Excuses, Excuses, which had audience member Joe showing up late to work. With the help of Joe, Ed, and Caroline, he was able to come up with some great excuses involving sugar, showers, and an unfortunate volcano.

Everyone lined up for Back in My Day, when we didn’t have Windex (“There was nothing to stop us from streaking”), Toothpaste (“Then we left England”), Water (“The earth was 75% candy”), and Cats (“It only rained dogs”).

Freeze Tag was up next, and chaos broke out. Caroline was a pony while Ryan had trouble with a tall pool table. There was a protest by the 1% of people who are Superheroes, Caroline picked up a cheap used brain, poisoned apples were consumed, and ocarinas were played. There was a monkey auction and some hot dog doctors, then the escaped mental patients showed up.

Our final game of the night was Beastie Rap, which was won based on the clearly superior rap skills displayed by Team Westside.

Annnnnnnnnd scene!

BYOI – Huntington’s Disease Society of America Show

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BYOI was privileged to be asked to be perform for the Huntington’s Disease Society of America on tonight.  Evan, Erich, Paul, Krissy, and myself attended and had a great time entertaining the members at their pre-conference dinner.

Our FAM for the evening was Lisa, despite our insistence on calling her Sherrie.  Lisa is an account manager who spends her days handling complaints.  When she isn’t fixing other people’s problems she enjoys golfing and going to karaoke bars even though she doesn’t sing.
Lisa’s  answers provided us the inspiration for a game of Highlander.  Krissy played a karaoke singer who was so bad that it killed me, while Evan and Paul desperately tried to find another song for her to sing, which ended up being a duet. Paul was the lucky winner and had to act out all the parts.

Next, we played What are You Doing?, where the cast interacted with many animals, including walking dragons, licking llamas, and eating ant-covered ice cream cones.

Ed had his work cut out for him in Catch Phrase where he had to train two new security guards for his mall.  Paul is very intent on getting coffee and telling people to shut up.  Evan continually tried to propose marriage and told people to get lost.  When the new guards got their segways, mayhem ensued.

Next, we played Timmy in the Well.  Krissy’s faithful dogs helped her rescue General Patton ( or was it Robert Pattinson?) from the DMV where he was passing the time smoking questionable items.

After the smoke cleared, we played a game of Slogans where we were joined by an  audience member who had a remarkable gift for buttoning up various topics.

This led to a game of meanwhile where security guards when crashing off the stage on their segways and leeches were sent to a Chinese hospital.  You might have had to be there to make sense of it all, but even then I’m not sure you could.

Finally, we closed out the night by singing a version of Do Run to our FAM, Lisa.  We tried to fit in all we could from her interview, including trying to find her a date.

We had a wonderful time entertaining the members of the society and hope they enjoyed the show as well.

And scene!